


The Happiest of Accidents

by FBIEpidemic



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt Tony Stark, Irondad, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-09-12 17:05:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 34,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16876794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBIEpidemic/pseuds/FBIEpidemic
Summary: Tony Stark did not aim to be a father. It happened on accident, an accident he had no control over and now he's just a single dad risking it all for some dorky kid that loves so much it scares him.





	1. Contraception

**Author's Note:**

> I always love writing pieces for new fandoms because people either try to ride your ass about the details or they're super sweet and enjoy what you have to offer

His head pulses to the beat of music. 

The bodies, moving up and down, are a sea of movement. Hair, arms, and hands crash against the air. Raised and tossed back as the beat carries loud and hard through-out the house. Pitched back and forth by the sea of scents and noise, Tony’s stomach rolls uncertainly. 

“Come on, Tones.” There’s a woman holding his arm, he can’t remember her name. In the lighting, he can’t even tell if she’s his usual type. 

Brunette? 

He catches a flash of a curly brunnete stip of hair. He tends to like the dumb blondes. So who is this woman calling him by a nickname he can’t recognize and why does the house keep spinning?

“Hey, I don’t-” his body moves forward without his consent and the woman’s cold hands start to work their way into his shirt. She’s moving them to the elevator. No one even notices because her tongue is down his throat before he can even remember where he is. No one finds it odd because nothing about the situation isn’t how he ends most Saturday nights.

His head is pounding, faster and harder than the music. Maybe he should have listened. His father struggled with alcoholism and bad blood pressure. This could be a stroke. He could be having a stroke. “I-I can’t feel…”

She’s good. She’s got them to his room and her hand is half down his pants before he even falls to the bed. His knees to weak to keep him up. His stomach still twisting into ugly, tight knots.

He can’t say no, anyways. Her mouth is over his, sucking the life out of him while her hand works at the half of his anatomy which should be the opposite of hard with his brain so hyperfocused on the vomit fighting it’s way up his throat. 

She pulls away just long enough to get a trash can and when she does she turns his head for him and sticks two fingers down his throat. “Don’t choke.” She rubs his sweaty hair out of his face and rubs her vomit stained fingers on his shirt. “Time for some fun.”

He can’t find the strenght to look at her. He can’t even turn his head when he starts to heave once again but his mind is torn between two things at once. 

The hand down his pants, pulling her closer to him as each moment passes and when her hips roll agianst his bare ones he gags and chokes on vomit he can’t dislodge from his throat. He lays there gasping for a moment, positive that this is how he’s going to die. He’s going to choke on vomit with his pants around his ankles. 

But when he opens his eyes back up, the woman is fixing her hair. She looks over and smiles. Making her way back to him she winks and moves his bangs from his hair,” thanks, Tones. You’re really going to make my life so much easier.”

She presses a soft kiss to his brow and she’s gone, leaving him nude, spread eagle on the bed. Unsure of what happened and cold with the early morning breeze blowing through. 

It takes his sluggish mind a moment but he finds the words he’s looking for. A single name,” JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

There’s only one word that comes to mind,” cold.”

The IA’s voice fills the room as the blinds shut and the room begins to warm,” brevity is a great charm of eloquence, sir.”

“Mmmm.” And with that, Tony Stark is as good as dead to the world.


	2. Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EndGame trailer got me dead
> 
> SO I wrote this and now I feel not really better but I did stop thinking about Steve crying and Tony dying. It'll be fine though. Just remember WWSLD- What Would Scott Lang Do and I'll tell you what he'd do. He'd get that bread.

**Seven Years Later**

The metal against metal clank that rings through the room does an excellent job of drowning out the sound of Pepper’s heels tapping against the expensive tiles of the stairs. For some reason, justified and fair, she thinks that even if he does hear her he won’t look up anyways. She never comes down to the garage for good reasons. 

“Tony,” he’s leaning over his workbench, covering whatever it is that he’s cussing at with his shoulders. At the sound of his name, his shoulders jump and his hand jerks. He cusses at that, drawing his hand to his chest and turning harshly to look at her. 

He’s a clumsy man. Between his circadian rhythm and the fact that his blood is more coffee than blood, he stumbles and fumbles and generally runs into a lot of things. His pain, this little, means nothing to her. 

“You’re going to want to sit down,” she stands, leaning to her right, with her arms crossed over the clipboard she’s pressing to her breast. Her face is blank and that almost scares him.

He wipes the oil and blood off of his hand and on to his jeans, ignoring the slight annoyance that dances across Pepper’s face at the sight of the act. “I don’t wanna sit. Just tell me.”

She shakes her head, she knows that some battles are easier unargued. “There’s a boy. His mother-”

Tony’s face betrays all of what he’s thinking and Pepper feels dread wash over her because this is going to be so hard. He’s going to make it so hard.

“What, an orphan? Jesus, they always think that orphans are like connected. Maybe this is what gay people feel when you ask them if they know another gay person. Whatever just give him enough money to get through college or whatever you come up with. I believe in you, Pep.” He winks at her and steps away. 

She has to remind herself that she’s about to completely flip his world upside down because at that moment, that stupid wink it just pissed her off. So much more than usual. 

So she takes a deep breath and makes a note to take some Midol when she gets the time. “Tony. He’s yours. He’s not an orphan. You’re his father.”

HIs gait, not the cocky little hippy thing he does at the galas for the cameras, staggers. He stops. No longer on his path back to his bench because his heart is trying to burst out of his rib cage. “Pep…”

Pepper already knows that her next words are going to hurt, that they’re going to hit close to home but Obidiah asked her to give Tony all of his options. That she isn’t to pressure him one way or another.

“He’s smart. I already sent in for some boarding schools. All the ones we’ve gotten back have accepted him. You-”

“I can’t send him away.” Tony’s voice is soft. A soft that she so rarely hears that it breaks her heart just a little to see him so… afraid. “He’s my son. My father sent me away. I’ve spent… I can’t do that to him. I promised myself I wouldn’t.”

She can’t see his face. Just the way that the muscles in his back are pulled tight with stress.

He walks away from her, his back remaining to her. “Dumee, get a pot going.” Then, he turns to her, his eyes betraying his tight-lipped smile,” goodnight, Miss Potts.”

For a moment he aims to argue. To force him to talk about this. The tears in his eyes, the way that he can’t look her in the eyes after even a few seconds has her mumbling a ‘goodnight’ right back at him and heading for the door.

 

He works. It’s all he knows right now. Other than the fact that he’s got a kid.

He knows the night. It’s the only night, the only one that he can’t say with 100% certainty that there was a condom used. Because he was… 

He throws the wrench in his hand. It bounces off of the wall with a clatter that Pepper is certain to hear. He doesn’t give a damn.

With his head in his hands, his fingers rubbing hard against his scalp as he sobs. As he thinks about that night, the scratches that she left on his bare body. The vomit. The shame. He can still feel the kiss on his temple. The pity in Pepper’s eyes when she helped him work the drugs out of his system. 

His stomach lurches and he grabs at the trashcan by his desk, falling, uselessly, to his knees as he empties the contents of his stomach. His stomach spasms and he chokes on the tears still pouring down his face.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his back and a rag to his face. 

He knows it’s Pepper but for a moment he fights her. He fights her until she wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him close to her smaller body. “Shh. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure all of this out.”

They sit like that for a long time. 

An hour passes before Tony’s breathing is normal and his stomach no longer twists itself into nasty knots. “What’s his name… my son, what’s his name?”

Pepper stops, half standing as she untangles herself from Tony. She smiles,” Peter.”

She leaves him with that. 

He sits on the garage floor for a long time just thinking and imagining what his son will look like. What his Peter will look like.


	3. "Dad"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure how I should do this? Should I keep one tangent line of plot or dance along Peter's ages like go from nine in one to seventeen in the next? Thoughts?

Peter had heard all about Stark Industries, he knows just about everything there is to know about it and a little bit more than civilians are supposed to. And the only thing that doesn’t act as a constant reminder that his mother is dead is the fact that sitting across from him is Obediah Stane. Which means that Tony Stark will be here anytime now.

“Do you need to use the bathroom, buddy?” Peter had been twisting in his chair, his little legs crossed tight in an attempt to ignore how displeased his bladder is.

It takes Peter a moment, he sits and twists a little longer before nodding,” I gotta pee.”

Obediah stands, and Peter feels unsettled by the older man presence, and offers his and out,” come on. There’s a bathroom just down the hall.”

Peter takes his hand and lets the older man lead him down the hall. The carpets are a light grey and Peter frowns deeply because his home never had light carpets. Light carpets have to be replaced and cleaned all the time because of sippy cup lids that aren’t screwed on tight enough. They can’t hold their wine and Cheetos grind up in the corse fibers and leave orange streaks. 

The walls are even a light grey and Peter wonders if there are any kids here at all. No one has really told him why he’s here and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because the only places Peter has ever been in with this little color is a store, church, and the hospital. And those places were light because those places are not meant for playing.

“I’ll be right outside when you’re done.” Obediah smiles at him but Peter doesn’t think he actually looks that happy. But that’s okay because when Peter comes back out he runs into a pair of legs and immediately recognizes who they belong to. 

“Tony Stark!”

The man in question peers down at him, his eyes and eyebrows covered by blue tented sunglasses but his mouth is curved in a pleasant smile. Peter immediately likes Tony much better than Obediah.

“Hi,” the smile wavers, uncertain. “You must be Peter.”

Tony crouches down, pulling his sunglasses off of his face to look at the little boy, and sticks his hand out to shake the small boy’s hand.

Peter puts his hand in Tony’s and smiles when Tony actually shakes their hands. “Yeah, I’m Peter Parker. I’m six years and four months.” 

Tony smiles and makes an astonished noise, pretending to be surprised by the boy's age,” Woah! Six years old. How you’re so big? Way too big for five!”

Peter giggles and bashfully looks to his shoes.

“Peter,” Obediah cuts in, and instead of bending down like Tony he puts a hand on Tony’s back and one on Peter’s back. “This is why we brought you here. Do you remember what we talked about in the car?”

Peter nods, a smile still on his face. “Uh-huh! We’re gonna meet my daddy.”

Tony feels uncertainty wash over him, maybe this isn’t the best idea.

“Peter,” Obediah is looking straight at the boy now. “Tony is your dad. You’re going to go live with him.”

Peter smiles even larger, so childish and full of joy. “Okay!”

Obediah smiles too, even if it kind of misses his eyes. “See, that’s good. Why don’t I go get your bag and you and Tony can catch up, huh?” Obediah claps Tony on the back and leaves the two of them in the silence they’ve created.

Peter is quick to break the silence,” what’s your favorite color? Mine’s red. Not ‘cause of blood neither.” He smiles at Tony, waiting patiently for him to answer.

“Blue.” Tony finally says, a small uneasy smile forcing it’s the way to his lips.

“Cool!” Peter smiles with all of his teeth, flashing the missing teeth and seeming impossibly more adorable than he did a moment ago. 

Tony doesn’t feel like he’s got this all figured out anymore. Before he thought he could handle a kid. Bathe it, feed it, read it a story, and keep it happy. But this little kid in front of him, with dark brown curls falling all over his head, who is missing at least half of his teeth, and talks with the cutest little lisp… what if he messes all of this up.

“Mr. Tony? Do you like toys? I have like a gazillion but Mr. Obediah said to only bring six so I can show you six of mine. Do you have toys at your house? Mommy says adults have adult toys, do you?” Peter moves from foot to foot and Tony has to remind himself that he’s got a kid now and he’s read all of the ‘kid’ books and he needs to remember that this isn't about him anymore. 

“Um… I have cars. I call those toys. I have tools, Pepper calls them my toys but we might have to scrounge some up for you.” Tony smiles but it falls away when Peter twists his hands nervously.

Softly, he whispers,” Mr. Tony… toys cost lots of money. We can just play with my toys. I’ll just share.” 

Tony watches Peter twist his hands for only a moment longer before he reaches out and stops the nervous habit. “Peter, buddy, you don’t have to call me Mr. Tony. You can call me whatever you want. Tony is perfectly fine. And I have lots of money. We can get you all the toys you can think of.”

It’s the way that Peter throws his arms around Tony’s neck, the wild abandon that he has for people, that just breaks down every doubt that Tony has and yet makes them so much larger. He knows that there is nothing he could do to make this child hate him and that is terrifying.

Then, so soft, and so trusting Peter whispers,” Tony, you’re the coolest. I’m glad you get to be my dad.”

Tony’s heart breaks for both of them.


	4. Grieving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment of something you would like to see in the fics to come

Sleeping, Peter has come to find out, is something that Tony doesn’t do a lot of. But, when he does Peter likes it. 

Some mornings Peter will come down from his room and find Tony sleeping. On those mornings, Tony has made breakfast but fell asleep before Peter could wake up. Then Peter just kisses Tony’s cheek and scampers off with his bagel or eggs. 

Other times it’s in the garage. Peter will come barreling down the steps, drawings or toys in his hands that he wants to show his new parent only to find the man slumped over a workbench. 

But very rarely does Tony sleep in his actual bed.

“Mr. Stark?” Which is why the sounds of footsteps going past his room woke him up. So little Peter, dressed in his favorite Captain America pajamas, trudges down the hall in search of his new found father. When he gets to the room that he knows belongs to Tony’s he stands in the doorway. 

A dark, hazy figure is moving in the dark of the room but stops at the sound of the small boy.

When the figure turns, Peter wishes he had brought his stuffed bear. Not yet comfortable at guessing the general shape of his father, Peter edges away, fearful that the man isn’t Tony.

Peter’s little-socked foot catches on the edge of the doorway, and if not for the actions of the dark figure he’d no doubt be on his butt. Instead, he’s caught by the front of his shirt and lifted quickly to the chest of the figure.

He squirms for only a moment before catching a whiff of oil grease and aftershave. An aftershave that he knows belongs to Tony. 

“Easy, Pete.” Tony rubs his back, cold hands touching the bit of Peter’s back that become exposed as Peter grasp his father’s neck. “I didn’t mean to scare you, buddy.”

Tony jogs the small boy up farther and moves farther into his bedroom,” what’d you want, buddy? Just coming to see what all the ruckus was?”

Tony stops when he feels hot tears on his neck,” Pete, buddy?”

Peter lets out his first actual sob and grips Tony harder. “I want mommy.”

Tony’s heart breaks. Since the first day they met, Peter has seemed content, secure with Tony. Even in moments where Tony provide that perhaps he wasn’t so sure like when it came to buckling Peter into his car seat. Yet, Peter smiled and told Tony what to do. 

On their first night, both still too excited at the idea of a life together and an afternoon full of hot chocolate, Legos, and Avatar they fell asleep on the couch. 

They’ve only had a little bit of time together, too little time to figure the other out so… maybe this was bound to happen? Peter’s mother was only buried a couple of days ago.

“That’s okay, buddy.” Tony tries to reason with himself. He knows that a break down like this was bound to happen and yet a part of him is certain that he, himself, is to blame for this. “It’s okay to miss your mom. I miss my mom too.”

Picking up a rocking motion that he can remember Pepper doing to a business associates newborn, Tony tries to soothe Peter’s cries. For the most part, he’s successful. The little boy's sobs seem to come less frequent but when Tony thinks he’s finally calmed back down Peter’s hold becomes too tight.

“Wow, Pete,” Tony pries his arms off, the boys grip cutting off Tony’s airway. “A little too tight buddy.”

Peter pulls away, looking at Tony with wide chocolate brown eyes,” are you gonna leave?”

Tony sits down on his bed, sitting Peter down on his lap so that they can see each other. “What? Why would I leave?” Everything seems to be happening too quickly.

Peter shrugs but adds softy,” mommy did.”

Then it hits Tony, no one really explained to Peter what’s happening. “Buddy,” Tony lifts Peter’s small chin,” mommy didn’t leave.” He holds his son close to his chest, sure that his voice and body can comfort Peter as he breathes the simplest truth that he has. “Peter, your mom was very sick. Do you remember seeing her in the hospital?”

Peter nods his little fingers at the top of Tony’s chin. Scratching at the facial hair along Tony’s chin, Peter seems content. 

“Well, your mommy, she fought very hard and the doctors did their very best but mommy was too sick.” Tony runs a hand up Peter’s back, comforting himself as much as he is Peter. “Mommy died, Pete. You can’t see her ever again but I promise you that I won’t leave you.”

Peter looks up at Tony, curling out of Tony’s lap to hug the older man. “You gotta pinky promise.”

Tony nods and holds his pinky out,” I pinky promise on…”

“Promise on Dum-ee!” Peter giggles wrapping his pinky around Tony’s.

Tony rolls his eyes, still uncertain as to why his only child, a boy he’s known no time at all loves a robot that causes Tony so much trouble. Then again looking down into the mischievous eyes of Peter, he might know why. “Okay, I swear on Dum-ee that I won’t leave you.”

Content, Peter curls back into Tony’s lap,” okay.”

Tony stares at the brown curly locks on Peter’s head. The little boy curled up in his lap, just falling asleep like this is a daily occurrence.

Tony stands, positioning Peter in his arms, and steps to leave. Peter moves, lifting his head off of Tony’s shoulder. “Mmm,” discontent, Peter grabs Tony’s shirt. “I wanna sleep with you.”

Tony stops, in mild surprise. “Me? You want to…” Tony glances back at his bed and nods,” o-okay.”

He’d read about this in the parenting books but something tells him that letting Peter sleep with him isn’t nearly as bad as the books make it out to be. Peter’s harmless and, if Tony remembers correctly, that rule with kids and their parent’s bed is a baby thing, not a harmless kid thing.

After placing Peter in the bed, Tony lays down beside him. For several long moments, Tony just watches the slow hypnotic rise and fall of Peter’s tiny chest. It lures him to sleep and for the first time in a long time, Tony slept through the whole night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas? Anything you'd like to see happen? Let me know because keeping it to yourself... that ain't it chief


	5. Uncle Rhodey and First Day of School

Tony has learned not to doubt the parenting books. A lesson he learned the hard way. 

“Buddy,” Peter sits on the edge of the garage sink, weeks worth of Kindergarten material spread from Peter’s tiny hip to where Tony stands. “Pete, I promise you if you finish one more spelling sheet I’ll go get us both like… six cookies.”

At the rate that they’re going, Tony’s going to be grey before he’s forty. 

Peter seems to consider this, his little red coloring pencil poised above his paper. A red coloring pencil instead of any of the drawing, writing pencils that Tony has scattered around the room because Peter wants to write in his favorite color. 

Damn Pepper and her amazon shopping because now they have an entire drawer filled with just red coloring pencils.

“K.” Peter pulls the sheet close to his body and begins tracing out the letters that are already on the paper. 

Tony sighs in relief. He can already hear Pepper berating him for letting Peter have so many cookies, for eating so many cookies himself. She’s constantly on his case about the two of them but it’s not like Tony hasn’t noticed that Peter is really small. It’s just that cookies are good and Peter likes them so…

Tony ruffles Peter’s hair as he walks past,” I’m going to go get our cookies, kid.”

Taking the steps two at a time, lost in his thoughts about Peter and the new school year. He’s going to have to send his kid away. To school. Where he could be bullied. Sorry, but Tony really thinks he’d be better off safe and sound here at home.

“Rhodey!”

Then again, school and bullies are the exact reason that Tony has his best friend. 

Looking past the black eye and the right arm pinned to his chest, Tony pulls his best friend into a rough hug. Laughing when the man reciprocates and ruffles the back of Tony’s hair with a playful ‘Tones’.

“God, I missed you.” Tony held his friend tighter since he’d gotten word that Rhodey’s convoy was on its way back he’d been waiting on edge to greet his friend once again. Sending Rhodey off on his super secret missions was the worst part about being friends with the man.

Rhodey pats his back with a solid hand,” I missed you too, Tones, but I hear I’ve got a nephew. I have got to meet the heir to Stark throne.”

Tony pulls away and smiles,” he’s great, Rhodes. So smart and he’s soo small.”

As if on cue, the sound of small bare feet on the tile steps can be heard. Almost as soon as Rhodey sees the head of brown curly hair, the brown curly hair sees him and makes a mad dash to Tony’s legs. 

Peter runs as fast as he can to Tony, burying his face in his legs. 

“Pete,” Tony squats down so that he’s face to face with Peter. Which only causes the small boy to wrap his arms around Tony’s chest. “Pete, I want you to meet someone. This is your Uncle Rhodey.”

Tony lifts them both up, not minding Peter’s legs which wrap around his waist. He does, however, pat the boy’s back,” come on, Pete. Trust me, okay? Show Uncle Rhodey those adorable little brown eyes.”

It takes a moment but Peter lifts his head from Tony’s shoulder and waves quickly to ‘Uncle Rhodey’.

“Hi,” Rhodey says, waving back. “I got you a present.”

Peter lifts his head ever slightly from Tony’s shoulder to gaze questionably at Rhodey.

“Do you like… coloring pencils?” Rhodey asks, smiling as unharming as he can. 

Peter looks at Tony and nods, slowly, still unsure. 

“Well, you’re gonna have to ask your Daddy to put you down then. They’re in my bag and I’m afraid it’s really hard to open my bag with only one hand.” Rhodey lifts his injured arm to Peter. 

Peter hesitates for only a moment before nodding and looking at Tony expectantly.

Tony puts Peter on the ground, observing how the little boy tugs his shirt down and nods his head like a man with a mission. Peter follows Rhodey to the bag, keeping a nice distance away from the larger man. 

Rhodey instructs Peter through it and when Peter sees the bright pack of pencils his eyes light up. He turns his back to Rhodey and shows the pack, a huge smile across his face, to Tony.

“I see, buddy. Did you thank, Uncle Rhodey?”

Peter shakes his head and bites at the edge of his nail before gently giving Rhodey a hug. It hardly counts as a hug, just a little tap with both of Peter’s arms but it still felt so great. “Thanks.”

Rhodey smiles up at Tony, understanding now the way that Tony ranted on and on about this little boy who stole his heart. “Anytime, little guy, anytime.”

Peter takes his pack of pencils and jogs back to Tony.

“Come on, Pete. Hey, Rhodes, we’re learning our alphabet, wanna tag along?” Tony, with one hand on Peter’s shoulder and the other belonging Rhodey down the steps, smiles. 

Peter stops,” wait, cookies!”

Tony stops,” right, right. Cookie break first and then more alphabet.”

Rhodey watches the receding back of his best friend and wonders when the hell Tony Stark got so lucky. 

\--------------------------------------------------

“It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you’ll come and pick me up?”

“Uh-huh, and we’ll get cookies.”

“Like six.” Peter smiles when Tony agrees. With a strong nod of his head, he lets go of Tony’s hand. “Okay. It’s gonna be fun… right?”

Tony looks down in surprise. Throughout this entire thing, since last month when Obediah came around to recommend putting Peter into school, Peter has been the one holding Tony’s hand. He smiles, he keeps up this reassuring “it’ll be over before you know it” and now he’s faltering.

He kneels down on the asphalt, because for some reason Tony argued strongly for a public school, and takes his son by the shoulders,” Pete, it’s gonna be a blast.” For good measures, Tony holds out his pinky,” pinky promise.”

They link fingers and Peter lets out a shaky breath,” okay.” He pulls his tiny bookbag tighter to his back and takes a step to the big building. He’s halfway there before he turns back again, with one hesitant look to the building, he tears back after Tony. He crashes against the larger man and in one quick out of breath gasp says,” I love you, dad!”

Tony is stuck for a moment, longer than that honestly. “I… I love you too, Pete.”

Peter lets go and tears back off for the building, smiling this time when he looks back at Tony. Tony throws up a numb hand. 

Tony waits outside for the bell to ring. When it echoes throughout the building, Tony let’s out a shaky breathe,” holy shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next comes the Iron Man 1 events... 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS!!!!


	6. Far From Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years!

Peter became an orphan at lunch. 

He wouldn’t have known it but when he laughed at his new best friends joke while trying not to snort strawberry milk out of his nose, his father’s heart stopped. He wouldn’t have known it but when Peter left for recess, laughing so hard at something Ned, his now knighted best friend, said his father was being held down by five men as they cut his ribcage open, pushing bones out of the way to make room for something far too large to fit into a chest cavity.

Peter wouldn’t have known it and Tony would want it that way.

“What do we tell the kid?” Under the lie that his dad was off to some expo, just showing more rich people more machines and some of the other cool stuff that Peter knows Tony keeps in the garage. But Rhodey knows the kid is as smart as Tony, their lie won’t last long enough.

Pepper looks genuinely lost. She taps her pen against her notebook, trying to think of something, anything but she just keeps thinking of Peter. 

Peter with hair that still feels like a baby's. 

Peter who gets so excited that he can't sit still. 

Peter with his tiny little hands and this idea that the world will never hurt him.

Peter who doesn't know that his little world is being tilted on its axis and shaken until it falls apart.

“The truth.” The moment that Pepper answers they both look to Peter. Little Peter with his halo of brown curls all wrapped up in a spare blanket and tinkering with a socket board Tony left out on his desk. 

Rhodes shakes his head, wishing he could disagree. Wishing it wasn't like this but this is it. It's everything, that's all. 

“Hey,” Rhodey smiles waving when the little boy with Tony's eyes beams up at him. It sucks. This sucks so fucking bad. 

“Rhod!” Peter leaves the blanket and tools on the ground to come barreling into Rhodey's side. 

Peter didn't seem bothered by Rhodey's silence when Rhodey picked him up from school. He just climbed into the passenger seat and kicked his little legs back and forth until they got back to the lab and then Peter just bounced away. Blissfully unaware. Fully trusting.

“Yeah, buddy.” It feels like an invasion to ruffle Peter’s hair and play the favorite uncle. He fucked up. He left Tony alone and now he’s… he’d only God knows where. “Listen, something happened today and I need-”

Peter stops squirming and looks up at Rhodey,” oh. That’s okay. I can help!”

Rhodey shakes his head and his mouth opens and closes for a long moment before he gives up,” yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna need your help, buddy.”

Peter nods eagerly, the light in his little eyes that Rhodey is terrified will go out. That Rhodey thinks the Ten Rings might actually be able to destroy. 

“Pete, your dad… Your dad went on a-a mission, today.” Rhodey squats down and for the first time since Peter moved in, he’s afraid because of adults only squat to look at you when something is wrong. 

It’s what the doctor did when his mommy left.

“He hasn’t come back yet because the bad men-some bad men they took him.” Rhodey nods, even putting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “But I’m going to find him, Peter. I promise.”

 

 

Yenson watches the man’s chest rise and fall. One of the leader’s had said something about a Stark, Tony Stark but Yenson had decided that he would make no accusations until the man is well enough to sit up on his own.

And right now, between the fact that Yenson still has the man’s blood under his nails and the fact that the man on the cot is so weak from dehydration and the pathetic fight he gave them when he woke up on the table, Yenson isn’t sure he’ll make it. 

Yenson wants for the younger man to live. If the man lives than Yenson lives too but if the man dies then so will Yenson.

“Pete.” The man moans in his sleep, twisting just enough in his sleep to pull on muscles that Yenson cut through to knock himself back out. 

Yenson isn’t sure who Pete is but he prays that the name means enough to the man to hold him over for at least one more night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking Peter broods in that sad little way that people do complete with staring off into space and crying numbly. I also think I'm going to make it so that Tony misses his birthday while in the cave so that Peter can make his dad a cake and then cry about so...
> 
> If you guys wanna see anything specific let me know


	7. Hurt Without Any Comfort

Peter Parker-Peter _Stark_ , sits alone. Since moving in with Tony nothing made Peter want to be alone, nothing made him be alone. But that was always because Tony was there. 

Tony had always made Peter feel at home. Maybe a part of it was because Tony just seemed like home. 

On more occasions that Peter can remember he slept with Tony. On the man’s chest was a favorite, the gentle rise, and fall of his chest was luring like the songs that his mother used to sing to him. Or even just crawling into the bed at night to wiggle under the covers and pop up by Tony’s head.

Never alone until he’s surrounded by people but not the right one.

Hands are everywhere. Men and women all touch his hair, hug his shoulders, and some kiss his temple. They tell him that they’re sorry, never mind that Rhodey promised he’d find Peter’s father. Others talk about Tony like they’ve known him since forever, and maybe they have, but Peter doesn’t pay them any mind. 

They all smell the same, think the same, and want the same. 

They smell like the alcohol they consumed in the living room where Peter has spent the last few months laughing with his father. Putting legos together on the floor, falling asleep on the couch they all drape themselves over. They all think they understand what it is that Peter might be feeling. Yet, how could they? A child, orphaned just as he got the chance to be a child again. 

But more importantly… They all want the company. Stark Industries. It’s all he hears, the company name fills his head, his dreams, his memories. It’s all he can think about, it’s all they can think about. 

Tony Stark is a back burner and Peter hurts. 

He hurts for so many reasons and he might be able to make sense of it if someone was there to make him rationalize. Everyone is running amuck though. Rhodey is running himself into the ground. Peter seems to understand that his father is close to sibling relation to as someone who isn’t of sibling relation for Rhodey. 

Pepper is… Pepper is going crazy.

Peter had seen her break down before the party. The party was thrown because these fancy people need closure. It’s not about the people who loved Tony, it’s about the people who loved the money Tony Stark leaves in death. 

“JARVIS?” Peter managed to get away from the party, to sneak upstairs without anyone noticing. Well, besides Happy but Peter knows that Happy has a soft spot for Peter. Which means that Peter should be safe upstairs hiding out.

“Yes, sir?” The IA’s voice tunnels through the hall and makes Peter look over his shoulder. Luckily, not even Happy turns at the sound.

“Can you…” Peter feels unease wash over him and the IA must detect that because JARVIS speaks for Peter.

“Would you like me to replay the clips of you and sir, Peter?” 

Peter smiles, not just because JARVIS knows but because his father really did take his advice and change JARVIS to call him Peter instead of ‘sir’ or all of the other things Tony had him programmed to say.

By the time that Peter wiggles his way on to Tony’s bed, under the covers of the bed that Pepper made this morning, the tv in the room is playing months worth of memories for Peter. 

He watches himself run up behind Tony, little feet gliding on the floor wearing too big socks ruling him soundless. Then he tripped and ended up on the floor in a pile. Tony had turned around and both Peter’s smile at the face that Tony makes when he accused,” _“Were you trying to sneak up on me?”_

Peter can almost feel Tony’s fingers wiggling under his arms, tickling him even when Peter cries out for him to stop. Instead, Peter only feels the warmth of the blankets he’s managed to form a small nest with.

JARVIS plays the videos long after Peter falls victim to sleep and the heavy toll of losing loved ones. When Pepper finally has the time to come looking for Peter, getting stuck hugging Tony’s associates, she cries. She cries as she watches Tony laugh and Peter giggle. 

She needs Tony to come home. 

Tony knows he needs to come home too.

It’s been...weeks? No more than four but no less than two. He knows because Yenson said he spent three says too delirious from pain to make any sense. From those three days on, Tony has kept track as best as he can. Between the waterboarding, what might be pneumonia because of said waterboarding, and coming up with a plan to get the hell out of this cave it can be hard to keep a correct tally.

Peter, though, Peter grounds his mind. Even in the worst moments, his head being held underwater even long after he thinks he won’t live any longer if they keep down any longer, he can focus on Peter.

Peter with his curly hair. Peter where his will to live is transfixed.

“I apologize for dragging you from your thoughts, Stark.” Yenson appears in Tony’s field of vision and Tony startles, causes his chest to seize up and he spirals into another coughing fit.

The pain, widespread and like someone had their hand in his chest digging and clawing at his organs, makes it worse and Tony wonders if he’ll survive with this giant hole in his chest.

“But you’re going to want to-”

Whatever Yenson is going to say is cut off by the large metal doors on the other side of the small room being thrown open. Not that Tony would have been able to listen because his body only spasms harder and by the time the foreign yelling breaks out through the room, Tony’s gasping on the verge of unconsciousness.

The yelling goes on and when a hand touches his shoulder Tony expects the cold sting of water to accompany but instead, Yensen stands at eye level with him. “Stark, you have to get up. They’ll kill you if you don’t.”

He’s not sure how much he trust that but Tony shakily pushes himself up, grateful for Yenson taking most of his weight.

Before Tony gets too far, a sack is roughly yanked over his face. Tony doesn't fight it.

Yenson isn’t there the entire time and Tony isn’t sure how far his legs have taken him, his heads cloudy with too little oxygen, and he realizes that the firm hand on his back is shoving him to his knees. 

The hood comes off and all he sees is lights and a camera. 

They shout around his head. A language that he would be able to identify if his head was clearer but all he’s got is gibberish and undetermined anything until ‘Tony Stark’, his name, is said with clear diction.

Tony jerks up, looking into the camera. “P-Peter?”

The blunt force to his head is enough to knock him out but he’s strong with fear for Peter. He raises his head, spitting the blood from his mouth. “Pet’r! Don’t look! Don’t!-”

The time the hit lands closer to his temple, there’s no amount of strength that could allow him to raise his own head again. It’s fine because no time later a hand runs through his hair and jerks his head back. 

For the first time in as long as Tony can think, he lets a painless unconscious wash over him.


	8. Happy- The Human Comforter and An Escape Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this isn't that good? Anyone who reads this, could you recommend something for me to do? Something that you could think of that you think would make this better?

“Don't get comfortable.” Peter closes his eyes, leaning into the solid warmth of Happy's chest, even when the older man rumbles about how this is ridiculous. “Only a minute…”

When Peter's breathing evens back out, the choked sobs no longer wracking his too small chest, Happy remains still.

A panic attack, something that hadn't happened to Peter before but how many six-year-olds have panic attacks? A panic attack and all Peter could see was Tony walking away. 

Tony leaving him at school.

Tony leaving him in the garage.

Tony leaving-

Tony-

“Easy,” there's a hand running through his hair and if Peter closes his eyes and ignores the span of intense muscle under his head he can imagine that the fingers in his hair are Tony. “Easy.”

Peter can remember the one time he asked about Happy. Where Tony obtained his best friend. 

There was a brief explanation, one that Happy was more or less there for.

They had been in the car. Happy drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and not paying attention so Tony had whispered to him the answer.

 _“His name? Well, it's cause he's always happy, duh. As for before me… He uses to fight people. He'd get in the ring and just fight but sometimes… well, he was a good fighter, Pete, but sometimes that's not enough.”_

Peter can remember the way Tony had looked out the window after that. Peter decided he wouldn't ask any more questions about Happy.

A deep sigh leaves Happy, making Peter rise and fall with his chest. “Get some rest, Peter.” It's very unHappy-like but Peter doesn't think too much of it. 

If he does he might panic again because he'll think about Happy and how Happy doesn't like hugs and how mommy didn't like to have him in the hospital when she was there and it was hard and now he’s a burden. He’s a burden.

He’ a burden.

A burden.

“Ch-ch-ch,” the sound catches Peter by surprise. A sudden patting on his back and whatever Happy was doing, whatever that noise was supposed to mean makes Peter calm. It really doesn’t mean anything to Peter, the noise or even Happy actually _holding_ Peter. 

Later, if Pepper comes in and finds Happy sitting on Tony’s bed, Peter cradled in his lap, he’ll deny it until he's blue in the face or dead. Whichever comes first because there is no way that Happy Hogan can act like he cares because he doesn’t. 

“Happy?” 

The older man was seconds away from sleep, between the warmth of the child across his body and the bed is frankly very comfortable but Peter’s voice lures him from the warm comfort of sleep. “Mmm? Whatcha want now?”

Peter twist the material of Happy’s shirt with his fingertips, rubbing the fabric against his face, along his lip. “Today’s… Today is-”

Happy pats his back when Peter can’t finish his sentence. 

“Tony’s birthday? Is that bothering you, kid?” It takes a moment, along strangled moment because Happy understands and Peter isn’t sure he’s allowed to agree. “It bothers me too… He’s not here. No parties, no alc- I mean no-no music. It’s too quiet. I miss him.”

Peter nods. 

“What if we go make a cake? Huh, you wanna make a cake?” Happy moves his arm, hoping the jostling movement will cause Peter to move, to answer. “Maybe he’ll see the smoke…”

Peter smiles into Happy’s chest,” nuh-uh. You can only see a fire flicker from 30 miles away if it’s super dark.”

Happy shakes his head,” that’s a lie. You totally made that up.” Happy attacks Peter’s sides, unable to hide a smile when Peter squirms around trying to get away. 

“Did not!” He squirms, attempting to get away. “I promise, I didn’t!”

Happy decides to let him go, patting his stomach when he rights Peter on to his feet. “Okay, I believe you. I believe you.” Happy pulls himself to his feet too,” did you wanna make a cake? Maybe watch a movie…”

Peter nods, overeager and full of life once again. “Okay!”

“Okay.”

 

 

“You’re not speaking. The silence, I’m not fond of it. What going on in your head, Stark?” Yinsen stands at his station, his job is mainly just stripping wires so Stark can… do whatever it is that he’s been doing with all of this metal.

A lot had happened in a week. The water board had almost stopped completely, in fact, if Stark hadn’t pissed them off yesterday with a back-talking he would have gone a whole week. 

The waterboarding does take it out of Stark, that is the worst part of his rapid firing talking not the fire or the fight. Yinsen holds a fear of the day Stark forgets how to fight.

“Sorry,” Stark had fallen silent and had remained that way for some time. It was worrying even if the silence from the man’s badgering was kind of nice. “Stuck in my head, I guess.”

“Hmm,” Yinsen sits down his tools, rolling his wrist to try and ease a cramp that is progressively worse. Since cutting into Stark’s chest his hands have been cramping, causing him pain he’d never had before. Yinsen just does it best to rub the muscle until they calm again. “Anything I can do?”

Tony shakes his head, closing his eyes for a moment.

_“Hi, Tony.”_

_“I’m sorry,” lack of sincerity in his voice making Rhodey appear already annoyed with what Tony plans on saying. “This is the ‘fun-vee.” He leaned out of the humvee to point back,” the hum-drum-vee’ is back there.”_

_“Dear God, you’re a woman!”_

And then just like that, everything was going to hell. They were laughing, taking a picture, drinking, throwing up peace signs and then… Tony only remembers stepping out the ‘fun-vee’ and watching as the young soldier’s blood splatter all over the side of the vehicle. Then a bomb and pain, just pain.

“Woah,” Tony blins quickly, it takes him a moment to realize he’s on the floor leaning heavily on Yinsen. “Easy, Stark.”

Tony takes a shaky breath,” it’s my birthday… I think and my kid-” Tony looks at Yinsen and the words die on his lips. He can’t find what he means to say.

“Peter?” Yinson asks, half sure he’s heard Stark mumble about the boy in his delirium. “Peter is fine. What we need to do-”

“-is get out of here,” Tony finishes, pulling himself up so he stands on his feet. He moves to his own working, hardly that far from Yinson due to the caves space but still, far enough it feels like they’re alone. “I’m getting us out of here.”

Yinson hardly startles at the sound of something metal hitting his ‘desk’.Cautiously, he picks it up turning it over in his hand admiring the bumps and uneven look of the mask. The hard work and time Tony has taken into making the mask. 

“I’m going to make a suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm thinking of a plot twist... what if Peter isn't Tony's?


	9. Fight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is delirious... so that's why Yinsen decided they had to do it then and that's why Tony just kinda isn't there? If that makes sense.
> 
> Get ready for whump that's gonna happen next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes sense?

“You can’t do this.” Yinsen stands over Tony’s body. The man is sick, very by the looks of it but they don’t have the time for that. If Tony is sick than that sets them back and the men, the men who will kill not only Yinsen but Tony as well, don’t care about silly things like pneumonia or the flu.

Tony looks up at him, eyes red-rimmed and tired,” I’m not doing this because I want to. Who willingly gets sick?” The question ends with a pathetic attempt to cough into his elbow, which results in more of a coughing fit than expected. 

“Easy, Stark.” Yinsen shakes his head, rubbing at Tony’s back when the man only lets out a sound Yinsen tends to associate with a death rattle. “Rest. You’re going to need your strength.”

Tony shakes his head, sending dirty curls around his head. “-can’t… Not ready, Yinsen.”

Yinsen leaves Tony on his little cot, instead of moving to the location that they’ve stashed the suit. He thumbs the fabric they placed over it before drawing it back in a dramatic flourish of color. “It’ll be ready, Stark. It’ll have to be.”

Tony can’t think straight. Maybe it’s the fever or fear of actually succeeding in this absurd plan. But he can’t think at the moment.

_“What’s… What’s the coolest thing you ever did?” Peter’s tiny fingers twist the material of his shirt, twirling the strands in between his fingers as he waits for Tony to answer. He doesn’t get impatient when Tony sinks off into his thoughts. He lets his father consider his possibilities._

_“I wasn’t a… I was a bad person before, Pete. I wasn’t very kind to people.” Tony trails off, not meeting the o;s eyes when Peter sits up and watching Tony’s face with curiosity. An obvious motivator to carry on. “But… I went to this party. I was maybe thirty and there was this older woman, she had fallen and knicked her leg on a ramp-a wheelchair ramp.”_

_Peter crosses his arms and lays them on Tony’s chest, resting his chin on top of them. The way Peter watches him, it makes his skin crawl with the thoughts that run through his head. Pepper once said that there was nothing Tony could do to make Peter stop loving him and the thought is terrifying._

_“I took my jacket off, wrapped it around her leg and talked with her until an ambulance came. I don’t… I forgot about, it didn’t mean anything to me at the time. The jacket was… expensive but I hadn’t even thought of that until Pepper chewed me out.”_

_Peter smiles at that, easily thinking of Pepper’s face when his dad didn’t come home the same way she sent him out._

_“It was a while later,” Tony runs his hand through Peter’s hair, curls moving away from his forehead where they had all grouped together. “I was in a cafe, nowhere special. I just wanted a hamburger and an excuse to piss Happy off. This girl, maybe twenty-four, came up and she thanked me for what I did. I… I was in a bad place, my mind was everywhere and hearing her say that… It made me fight again.”_

_Peter sits up, mainly using Tony’s chest to boost himself up, and throws himself around Tony’s neck, hugging him. After a moment, Tony puts a hand on his back and hugs him in return. “Mommy used to tell me about you when I couldn’t sleep. She always said you were the smartest, I think she was right.” Peter buries his face into Tony’s neck,” you’re the smartest, bestest, nicest Daddy ever.”_

_Peter sits up, a worried expression in his eyebrows,” Stark?”_

“Stark!”

Tony jerks away from Yinsen, Yinsen who is standing very close to him. 

His brain is fried, he realizes. He’s hallucinating.

“The armor isn’t ready,” Yinsen shouts, panicked but Tony can’t understand why. “We’re going to have to improvise.”

Tony isn’t sure what he means by that until Yinsen is strapping him into the suit and he’s standing in front of a now open door. The cave is more or less now just a giant door. Yinsen is… gone? Tony can’t… 

He walks, his heart pounding in his chest like it wants to come out and run away. Yinsen is gone, Tony thinks he might remember a flash, the armed men falling as the large cave door was blown off the hinges and… Yinsen running out. 

No… that-that can’t be right.

There were men after Yinsen left. He hit them. Then more men came, running at him with guns and firing shots that he can more or less feel. 

“Ah!” He acts on instinct, using his arm to bat the man away, smashing his elbow into the man’s stomach. He hits a lot more. Just… the men keep coming and Tony’s terrified. Rhodey never said it was like this. He never explained that it was undoubtedly the most terrible thing to ever happen to a person. 

Then he gets his arm stuck. He hits a man and his arm just keeps going until it’s stuck in the rock and for a moment, Tony thinks this is it. He’s going to die and Peter is going o be an orphan.

Then his hand comes free and he’s punching a door down. 

Do these men have children too?

A man sneaks up and shoots at Tony’s head. It makes his ears ring and his head pound even harder. The man falls dead. Doesn’t he know anything about Newton’s Laws of Motion? Metal?

Then he comes to a clearing. 

There are two men.

“Yinsen!”

“Watch out!”

The other man shoots a missile at him, Tony reciprocates.

Tony does his best to ignore the blood, his mind racing, reeling, and feverish.

“Stop,” Yinsen whispers.

“Come on, we gotta go. Move for me, we’ve got a plan, gotta stick to it.” The words leave his mouth in a rush like Peter’s does when Tony offers cookies or when he gets excited or has to use the bathroom or-

“This was always the plan, Stark.”

“Come on. We gotta go see your family.” Tony is getting desperate, his heart feels like it just might make it’s way out of his chest and out of his mouth. If he’d had lunch, Tony is sure it would have made its way up for the gang of bad guys to see. 

“My family is dead.” Tony’s heart sinks. “I’m going to see them now, Stark.” Yinsen must see it in his eyes,” it’s okay. It’s okay. I want this.”

Tony knows it’s coming. He can see the pale consuming Yinsen, the fight leaving his body, “Thank you for saving me.” He means it. Yinsen knows it.

“Don’t waste it,” Yinsen let’s out in one breathe. “Don’t waste your life.”

Tony is blinded by it all. He’s no longer grounded. He has no one. He might not make it out of all of this.

He finds a line of men waiting, they shoot. 

He doesn’t feel a thing and it’s freeing and terrifying. 

He burns them. Sending the whole camp up in flames and who cares if they have children? His kid is at home, alone. If he can’t have his kid then neither can they.

Only once he’s sure he’s sent everything up in flames does he take off. His feet leave the ground and it feels amazing but before he can think clearly again, he’s moving for the ground. He’s falling.

When his body makes contact with the ground, he doesn’t even try to fight to stay awake.

 

“I think we might have something on Stark.”

Rhodey stands and watches the footage. His officers all standing at attention, waiting for their commander to smile, to react, to do anything except just staring at the wall. When he does, they’re already moving. “Get me a helicopter!”

They smile to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how do you guys think Peter is going to react and more importantly how do you want him to react?
> 
> Scared?


	10. Homecoming

Peter watched a bad movie. He knows it was bad because it made Pepper cry. Dad always feels super bad when he makes Pepper cry, he says that it’s mean, so Peter was bad. He’s not sure how bad he was so he puts himself to bed early. He doesn’t take the cookies that Pepper sits out for him, he doesn’t even ask her to turn on his night light or read him a story. Not even when he thinks he hears something scratch his window and he really wishes his night light was on.

The sound of someone crying wakes Peter up. 

It sounds like Pepper. He can’t be sure, it sounds like it’s coming from downstairs so he gets out of bed.

He scrunches his toes tight when they hit the cold wood of the floor but he doesn’t say anything to JARVIS. He thinks cold floors is a good punishment, too. 

He makes his way to the hall, his heart only beating really hard when he sees that the whole hall is dark. He manages, just barely, to get down the stairs to the living room. There the light is on and Rhodey and Pepper are together.

“Pepper?” Peter rubs his eyes, trying to rub the sleep away so that he can see better. When he opens them again, all the eyes are on him and he realizes Obediah is there as well. He isn’t crying.

“Peter.” Obediah, or Obe as his father calls him, seems just as cold and mean as usual. It makes Peter feel unsettled. “Come here.”

Peter looks at Pepper before obeying. He walks to Obediah, not liking the way the older man pulls him in for a hug. “They think they’ve found your father.” 

Peter looks at Rhodey over Obediah’s shoulder. Watching the other man’s face for any indication of the truth but Obediah moves him. Holding him at arm's length from his chest and turns his chin so that Peter looks at Obediah. “We need you to go get your clothes on. Take these silly pajamas off,” Obediah points to his chest, where the Captian America star is. “Your dad is gonna want to see you at your best, do you understand?”

Peter only nods because he can see Rhodey do it out of the corner of his eye.

“Okay.” Obediah lets him go and Peter takes three steps away from the man.

“Is he here yet?” Peter asks, moving back and forth on his feet. 

Rhodey shakes his head, moving around Obediah. “No, buddy. I’ve still got to go rescue your Daddy. That’s why no one came and got you, it’s really early still.”

That’s when Peter realizes that it’s still dark outside. “I’ll go get dressed then.” He’s gone before any of the adults can convince him that he doesn't need to do that. It’s going to take a lot of time for Rhodey to get to Afganistan and bring Tony home. That’s not to say that everything goes well. 

 

Tony stares at the sky. At the sun. The clouds. 

“ _Daddy_?” Tony can’t feel the pressure on his chest but he can see his little boy sitting on top of him, where the arc reactor now sits too. “ _Why did you leave me_?”

Tony tries to shake his head, to tell Peter that he’d never willingly leave him. No words left his mouth.

“ _Do you not love me_?” Peter looks mad, angry to the point of violence. 

Tony had never seen the small boy this mad before, hell not even when Rhodey dropped the mug Peter made him. Nothing set the boy off like this. 

“ _You don’t!_ ” Peter shouts, tears pouring down his face. He gets off Tony’s chest and backs away quickly. He topples over his own legs, falling hard in the sand. “ _You don’t love me so you left! You left even when you promised!_ ”

Tony reaches out, his skin is burning. His body is on fire and Peter is running away from him. Peter thinks he doesn't love him. “Stop!” Tony screams to the sand,” Peter, stop! Come back.” There are hands, they come out of nowhere. They burn.

He’s been caught. He knows it. 

He fights the hands still shouting out at where Peter had been. His elbow connects with something hard and he thinks it’s good. He should leave a mark before they throw him back into that hell. 

“Peter!” The voice that rips through his own sounds nothing like him. If not for the raw pain that grates his sore throat he wouldn’t even think it was his own voice. “Peter run! Run!” He fights the arms harder, twisting his body and kicking out even when his body connects with other bodies and it sends shockwaves of pain back.

“Tony!” 

He stops, for a moment, for breath but that’s all that’s needed.

Suddenly, Tony’s mind snaps. “R-Rhodey?” He stops fighting and the hands stop hurting. They press against his arms, putting something cool in his arm that floods his whole body is cool, painless ease. “Rhodey, did you see Pete? He… I have to get him… He ran off… He’s just a lil’ kid.”

His eyes roll into his head for only a moment before he snaps back, more aware and ready to fight again. Only to find that he’d been restrained. His mind is quickly distracted when Rhodey steps into his view, a soft, misplaced smile and encouraging words. “How was the fun-vee?”

Tony shakes his head and leans forward, burying his head in Rhodey’s hip from where he kneels in the sand.

Rhodey’s hands are nice, they don’t hurt. Gently, they part his hair. His fingers breaking dirt and grim away as he brushes it away from his eyes. “Next time you ride with me.”

A promise, Tony thinks and he can only smile.

“Did you see Peter out here, Tony?” Rhodey keeps up the gentle motion and after a long moment looks down to find his genius best friend sleeping peacefully. 

Sleeping soundly for the first time in three months.

“Move!” One of the medics pushes Rhodey away and Rhodey almost raises hell until he realizes that Tony’s entire body is jerking. Jerking and contorting in a way that looks painful. Rhodey does as he is told and watches the medics work together. One of them sits by Tony’s head, not even grimacing when the genius pukes all over both of them.

“We have to get him out of here!”

 

“Ton-”

Tony takes a deep breath, settling himself using Rhodey’s arm. “I’m not using that wheelchair and I refuse to look weak in front of my son, so either help an amigo out or let me hobble on my own.” On his own two feet, it takes a moment but Tony finds his strength and takes an unsteady step and Rhodey is right there for him.

The first thing he sees is a little boy by Happy’s side. He’s wearing _“Do I know any jokes about Sodium? Na”_ shirt. It’s his favorite. It’s also Tony’s.

Said boy starts to _wiggle_ , twisting and jumping but not letting go of Happy’s hand. Obediently standing where he was told, that is until Happy let's go and Peter takes off like a bat out of hell.

“Daddy!”

God, Tony had forgotten about how good it made him feel to have Peter in his arms. “Hey,” his voice breaks and tears stream down his face. He’d forgotten how Peter smelled. How could he forget about the cheap Captian America shampoo in his shower and it’s an oversweetened cherry smell? “Hey.”

Peter has no tears in his eyes and that makes Tony’ mind go crazy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” over Peter’s shoulder, Pepper’s ordering medics to him. They push a stretcher. “Get that away from me, I’m not getting on it.”

“Tony, you had a seizure. You almost died-”

“Almost being the key-word. Now I want two things. First, an American cheeseburger and the other…”

Pepper scowls at him,” alright, that’s enough of that.” She motions down to Peter who is standing oblivious to everything. He has Tony’s pant legs gripped tight in his hand as he stands in amazement at the plane behind them.

“And the other is not what you think,” Pepper rolls her eyes. “I want you to call for a press conference.”

Peter looks away from the plane, eyes wide open. “Can we go to Burger King! We can get crowns!” He pokes Tony’s thigh, trying to get the man to respond.

He does,” see, Pep? We gotta go. The kid wants a crown, are you going to tell him he can’t have a crown?”

Peter doesn’t need to be told what to do, he looks up at Pepper with his lip sticking out,” please, Pepper?”

She rolls her eyes,” come on then, Happy. We’ve got to drive our children to Burger King.”

Peter jumps up and smiles at Tony, holding his tiny hand up for Tony to high five. Tony does but anxiety washes over him. Since when did Peter start high fiving? How much growing up could he really miss in three months?

“Look, Daddy, I reach the door handle from my car seat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's the worst way for Peter to find out Tony has PTSD? About the arc reactor? 
> 
> Any ideas for upcoming chapters?
> 
> Should Peter help his dad make the suits?


	11. Let's Get One Thing Straight

“I’m afraid sir might require your help, Peter.” 

Peter isn’t expecting the intrusion from JARVIS. The spoon he’s using to spread jelly slips and some gets on the counter.

It was time for lunch. Twelve o’clock, that’s when Peter always eats lunch… that’s when he started eating lunch after Tony left. Rhodey and Pepper established a schedule to help him deal with the terms of Tony’s leaving. 

It’s a Saturday. One whole day since Tony came home and things aren’t like they used to be. Peter thinks Tony’s hiding from him. 

“Daddy?” Peter stumbles down the stairs, his short legs making it a little bit harder to make it down the stairs. Once he clears the stairs he can see right into the garage and his father is on the floor. He’s leaning against the wall but sitting on the floor. 

He never did that before.

“Pete-” he sounds out of breath like he went out for a run. “Hey.”

Peter tilts his head and continues to go farther into the room. The closer he gets, the more things that he notices. 

Since they got back from the press meeting yesterday Tony locked himself in the garage. Which really made Pepper mad but she wasn’t going to pick a fight with him. Not when he just got home but maybe she should have. 

“Peter,” JARVIS’ voice cuts through again, making Peter jump for the second time in less than five minutes. “Sir’s heartbeat is irregular, he may require medica-”

“Thanks, J. That’ll be enough.” Tony leans his head back against the wall, letting out a heavy breath.

Peter stands still. He’s unsure of what he’s supposed to do. If this were any other day, if Tony wasn’t here he’d be working on his suit. Or his ‘toy’ as Pepper called it but he’d figured out how to store NERF bullets in it and the only thing it’s missing is a star so that he can look like Captain Am-

“Hey, Pete?” 

Peter’s eyes snap to Tony, moving away from where they had subconsciously shifted to the drawer his suit is stuffed in. 

“Come here, buddy.” Tony pats his thigh, opening his arm when Peter gets close enough. “I wanna show you something cool.”

Peter crawls into Tony’s lap, waiting for this awesome reveal as Tony slowly pulls his sweatshirt over his head. It doesn’t take long for Peter’s eyes to see the outline of blue light through Tony’s thin cotton t-shirt.

“Woah…”

“It’s an arc-”

“Reactor!” Peter finishes looking up at Tony with huge brown eyes filled with amazement. “Like the one at the tower!”

Tony nods, laying a hand on top of Peter’s head to give his hair a good ruffle, but when he looks back at Peter the amazement is already gone. Something like concern or anger between his little eyebrows.

With all of the seriousness that a six-year-old can manage, Peter asks,” does it hurt?”

Tony considers lying. He should, it’s the fatherly thing to do. You lie to your children so that they don’t have to hurt but what is Tony going to teach him about pain or weakness if he doesn’t lead by example? He doesn’t want Peter to be as emotionally stunted as he is.

“Yeah, buddy.” Tony smiles somberly, reaching up to cup Peter’s cheek in his hand. “It hurts a lot. That’s why J called you down here. He saw I was in pain, he just wanted to help. You understand?”

Peter nods.

“I don’t want you to worry about that though,” Tony says with a smile. “Your old man’s not broken yet. I’ve still got plenty of years left before you send me off to the nursing home.” Tony knows his joke has fallen short when Peter just looks more confused. Tony tells Peter to forget the joke, Peter makes a mental note to google ‘nursing homes’ later.

Tony picks Peter off of his lap, half of his mind numbed by the pain that the action causes in his chest and the other thinking about the average height of a six-year-old. Peter seems even smaller than when he left. 

Peter watches Tony, he sees the wince that Tony does a piss poor job at hiding. He sees the way that his mind starts raising a mile-a-minute and he just speaks without thinking. He’s six. It’s a given.

“Did you miss me?”

Tony stares down at Peter. Little Peter in his size five jeans and Captain America sweatshirt. He’s tiny. He’s so small and easily hurt and pure… God, how did something so good come from him?

Tony sinks to his knees, making himself the same height as Peter. “Hey,” Tony cups Peter’s face in both of his hands. “Every second. For every second that I was there, I missed you. Every time they- Every time it got rough, I thought about you, Pete. You’re the only reason I made it.”

That and whatever drugs they gave him on Rhodey’s plane. Some like broad-spectrum antibiotics and painkillers. And now this pills for his heart but beyond that medical stuff-

For the first time since Tony came home, almost since he left, Peter cries. It starts with his little brown eyes filling with his eyes. His shoulders start to shake and Tony doesn’t know what happens next because he just pulls his little boy to his chest.

“Let it out, Pete. It’s okay.”

 

Tony can’t sleep.

JARVIS and Rhodey both try to convince him that it’s perfectly normal. He was in captivity for three months and Afganistan has a 9 hour time difference. It makes sense.

He just didn’t tell them the bit about how he still doesn’t feel safe. He keeps waiting for someone to kick his door open and force his head under the cold water. For another foreign language to be shouted at him and this time they’d kill him because he doesn’t have Yinsen. He’s alone-

“Daddy?”

Tony jumps in the bed. The bed he’s only in because JARVIS said that if he didn’t then Rhodey would be notified within the hour and on his way to kick Tony’s ass. “Hey, kiddo.”

Tony can more-or-less see Peter, he relies more on the sound of Peter running to Tony’s side of the bed rather than the Peter sized shadow standing in the doorway. 

It takes Peter no time to climb up the side of the bed and wiggle underneath the covers. 

“You okay, buddy?” Tony winces as a Peter sized elbow hits him but smiles it off when he feels Peter latch on to his side and mumble a ‘sorry’. “It’s okay but what’re you doing in here?”

Peter stays where he is, his entire body covered by Tony’s comforter and both arms were thrown around Tony like a koala bear. So Tony pokes his head,” talk to me, kid.”

Peter lets go, shuffling upwards so that he can be seen. He throws a glance over his shoulder to the darkness,” I wanted to be a big boy and sleep without my night light but something went pass my window and I really wanted my night light but I can’t plug stuff in the hole all by myself-” 

Except to Tony, it sounded more like: “wanted-sleep-big-boy-night-light-window-night-light-plug”

“Woah, Woah,” Tony puts his hand up, stopping Peter in his too fast speech. “Take a breath, calm down, and try again.”

Peter nods again, throwing another glance over his shoulder.

“Hey,” Tony pulls Peter’s chin to look at him,” I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. Look at me, okay? Nothing is going to hurt you.”

Peter nods his head,” k.”

“Okay, then, tell me again. This time slow.”

“You didn’t turn on my night light.” Peter whispers,” something went past my window. Happy said… Happy isn’t here, so he can’t check under my bed and your light was off. It’s never off and it… it was super dark everywhere.”

Guilt hits Tony. He always tuned Peter’s night light on. He always checked under his bed. Asked him six, seven times if he wanted another blanket if he needed to pee. He didn’t do that today. He didn’t even leave the light on in the hall in case Peter got scared. 

God, he’s such a piece of shit dad. Why didn’t he think-

“But it’s okay now,” Peter says, wiggling under the covers and taking a fistful of Tony’s shirt in his hand. “The reactor can be my night light.”

Tony glances down at his chest and the pale blue light seeping through his shirt. He hadn’t thought about it that way. 

He couldn't’ stop thinking about Yinsen, the pain, the malfunction that he’s going to have to fix, the literal hole in his freaking chest. 

Yet, Peter sees it as a night light. Something to that makes him feel safe.

“I love you, daddy.” It comes out a yawn but Tony still knows what he said and it hurts. It hurts the same way his chest did when he woke up in that cave. 

He’s got so much to make up to Peter. So much.

“I love you too, Pete.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next one, I'm thinking Peter drops a glass, gives Tony a panic attack and we get to see our little duo start the production of the second Iron Man suit... thoughts?


	12. Post Traumatic Disorder

Peter’s going to be a doctor. He’s not sure which kind yet. So far, he thinks a bone one. An Ortho-God. At least, that’s what they call them on Grey’s Anatomy. He knows that because his mommy used to watch that show and it’s totally the coolest. Only, he’s not sure if he’s allowed to watch shows like that so he only watches it in his room when he knows for sure that Tony’s in the garage. 

It’s super cool though. He likes it when people get a whole lot of blood in their bellies and it just goes everywhere.

“You wanna get the Pop-tarts? I’ll get the milk.” They’re settling in for a movie night and even though Peter spent about half the day watching tv anyways, studying up on his future profession, he doesn’t mind. 

Excited and pumped up from watching at least people on Grey’s stomach full of blood, Peter races in front of Tony. He beats the older man, mostly because Tony had no idea they were raving. “No! I can pour the milk! I’m tall enough to reach the glass!”

Which isn’t even half true but if he stands on the tips of his toes, from the inside of a bottom cabinet, he can climb up onto the counter and reach the glass. So, like kinda true and Tony doesn’t argue so Peter takes that as an ‘okay’. 

He’s climbed onto the counter a hundred times. With most of the adults out and constantly stressing about Tony being gone, Peter didn’t want to burden them. So he learned to climb up the walls, essentially. Out of all of the times he’s done it though, he’s never dropped a cup.

Maybe he just wasn’t being careful. Maybe, like Tony always says, he was just getting too excited. But when he was climbing back down one of the glasses slipped out of his hand. 

Peter’s kinda clumsy so he always picks the mugs/cups that Pepper hates. Like the mug that Rhodey got Tony that says “I’m a mom, what’s your superpower?” This time, he’s got two fo the glasses that kinda look like rectangles but the sides are a little bit smoother. They’re weird and Pepper hates them. 

So, really, it shouldn’t matter if Peter dropped one. Except it did matter.

The glass hit the floor hard. Glass shards fo from one end of the counter the other. Right to where Tony’s standing in socks. 

The impact makes them both jump and for a moment Peter is afraid. He doesn’t want to get into trouble but he remembers that this is Tony. His dad doesn’t get upset about accidents because Tony doesn’t have to worry about putting money into getting more cups. They’re just cups to him. 

Except, Tony’s hands are trembling and Peter can see it. 

He tries to get off of the counter, to go to Tony and beg for forgiveness but before he can drop down Tony turns around.

“No! Stop!” He doesn’t mean for his voice to be as sharp, and potentially mean as it sounds but he doesn’t want Peter to cut his feet. “Sit where you are. Don’t move. You’ll only make a bigger mess.”

He hides a grimace as he steps through the glass. It’s not the micro-blades of glass cutting at the bottom of his feet that hurt the most. 

His mind is a cloud of gunshots. The pressure in his chest is making it hard to breathe but he can’t pass out. He can’t freak out because Peter can see him and Peter’s only six and if Peter sees Tony break down, if he sees him lose his shit then Tony can’t protect him anymore. Then who will Peter go to at elven at night when he needs someone to check under his bed?

Happy.

The thought hits him hard and the broom in his hand falls. His fingers are numb. He can’t feel his legs. 

He doesn’t know where he is. 

He can’t breathe.

Panic blinds him. He isn’t thinking about Peter sitting on the counter, waiting for him to clean the glass. 

A single thought runs through his head, over and over. 

They don’t need him.

Pepper managed the company like a champ. The stocks, the sales it didn’t even look like he’d been gone at all. If anything, him coming back was bad for it. Just Google Stark Industries. All you see is him fucking it up. 

Happy practically took his role. The man comforted Peter when Tony couldn’t and he’s forever indebted but if Happy, the man who literally works for him and follows him around everywhere doesn’t even need him then who does?

Peter doesn't. The might as well be raising himself. 

“Dad!” Peter’s not sitting on the counter. The panic starts sucking the oxygen right out of his mouth. His lungs burn.

Peter is right in front of him. He’s right there, close enough to see Tony’s a Goddamn mess, close enough to know Tony can’t be a fit fathe-

“Dad?” Peter’s voice is small, for once he sounds like six-year-old. A terrified six-year-old.

Tony does his best to get his bearings. His breathing is still awful and he can’t focus all that well but Peter’s face isn’t fading in and out. “Pete…” 

Peter lets out a terrified scream when Tony slumps backward, his head meeting the kitchen floor with a thud.

 

 

“You did the right thing, buddy.” 

Adults only say that when they have nothing left to say. 

“You were so brave.”

Adults only say that when they mean ‘you did the right thing but you’re an idiot if you hadn’t’.

“I’m proud of you.”

Adults… Peter isn’t sure why adults say that one. 

He stares up at Pepper, an odd sense of relief sweeping over him when she says it again and presses a warm kiss to his forehead. She sweeps his bangs away from his face and pulls him into a warm hug. 

“You did so good, Peter, and we’re very proud of you.” 

Tears sting his eyes as he holds on to Pepper. He thought his dad was dead. He thought Tony was going to leave again and for so long Peter didn’t even think about the things that he’d been taught. He just cried like a little baby. 

Only then did he remember JARVIS or the Pop-tarts burning in the toaster.

“Come on,” Rhodey offers his hand out, beckoning Peter to come with him.

He knows that all the adults want him to go with Rhodey. Happy nods his head, Pepper releases him from her hold, and Obadiah glares at him. But he shakes his head anyways. “I wanna go see daddy.”

Rhodey tilts his head, an amused smile on his lips. It had taken some time to see the Tony side of Peter. The kid is nice, a people pleasure and not a lot like his father in terms of attitude, wit, or looks but with time one could learn that was untrue. 

Give Peter the right chance, something to stand for and the kid would surprise you. Try telling him that he should go to bed a little bit earlier than his bedtime, he’ll give you a run for your money.

Just like now, standing up in front of a group of adults who could literally just pick him and move him to make him do what they want.

“Okay.” Rhodey agrees, he sits back down in the waiting room chair. “One condition.”

Peter nods. 

“If, and only if, you eat you all of the sandwich that I bring you back from the cafeteria.”

Peter screws his lips tight, considering the deal. “Okay but not egg salad. That’s nasty.”

Rhodey sticks his hand out,” deal.”

Peter shakes it,” deal.”

 

 

“What did Peter do?”

Tony refuses to look at his best friend, his eyes and face turned to the little boy laying in his lap. “He said he loved me.” There are tears flowing down Tony’s face. He uses his knuckle to wipe a stray one away from his nose, his eyes never leaving the head of curls that Peter has resting against his collarbone.

Rhodey settles on the chair by the bed, with all of Tony’s money you’d think the guy would buy nicer hospital chairs but then again this isn’t 100% his hospital yet and all so... “Why would that upset you?”

Tony shakes his head. 

Rhodey sighs,” Tony, you passed out. Your heart? It’s messed up, dude. If you don’t start talking, if you don’t at least try to get some sort of help, you’re going to leave that kid an orphan.” Rhodey leans forward, his elbows on his knees and his fingers interlaced,” do you want to leave Peter without any parents at all?”

For a long moment, Rhodey thinks that Tony’s ignoring him. Then softly, like he’s talking more to himself than to Rhodey, he says,” Peter loves me. He always loves me. When I mess everything up, he still loves me and I’m afraid…” More tears fall down his face,” I’m afraid that I’ll ruin everything and Peter will just keep coming back. He’s so loyal, Rhodey.”

Tony finally looks to Rhodey, his face and eyelashes wet from his tears. “He’s so loyal, Rhodey, and so many people are going to hurt him. And I-And I just don’t want to be one of them.”

Rhodey nods for a moment, going over solutions in his head, taking it all in. It’s going to be tough, Rhodey knows that Howard did a number on Tony. His self-confidence has always been a good one to throw blows at. Tony is a master talker but it’s always those damn eyes that give him away. 

It’s why he wears so many pairs of sunglasses. You can’t see the hurt in his puppy brown eyes if they’re hiding behind purple frames. 

Rhodey has found Peter is lot likeTony in that way.

“We’ll get you some parenting books,” Rhodey reasons, nodding his head. “I’ll come by the tower more, make sure you’re not compltely screwing the kid up. Pepper and Happy… they’ll come around more. Pepper loves the kid, she needs the excuse to see you guys and Happy, I mean, the guy really needs to socialize more.”

Rhodey tries to sound as convinced as he means Tony to be but this is Tony and there’s only one way to do things. The hard way.

“And-” Rhodey cuts Tony off, not allowing the younger man to interject just yet. “That means that if we read parenting books you aren’t allowed to do that thing where you try to master the entire subject in one night.”

Tony looks hurt, which is a good thing because that means he’s not thinking about failing as a parent. “Well, first of all, you couldn’t stop me from doing that even if you wanted to and second, too late. I read all of the parenting books from Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, and everything Amazon had to offer.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes,” well… I’m sure you missed something. Plus,” Rhodey gestures to himself,” fresh eyes. And we both know I was always a closer reader than you were. I’ll even bring out my old chalkboard from MIT. We can make flow charts and shit.”

“Hey!” Tony chaste,” young ears.” Tony motions to the small boy in his lap and Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

He gets fussed at for cussing in front of a sleeping Peter but when that kid goes into the garage that’s all he hears. 

“Right, my bad. So, how do Thursdays sound to you?”

Tony smiles,” it’s a date.”

 

“You can’t tell anyone about this.”

Peter came to a crashing halt at the bottom of the stairs. He’d seen a lot of weird things happen in the garage. The time Tony got hyperfocused and just spent all day mixing baking soda and vinegar. 

But this certainly takes the cake.

Peter stands at the bottom of the stairs, eyes glued to his father, who has metal strapped to his body. His chest, around the reactor, and his hands and feet just covered. 

“Especially, Pepper.”

It had been four days since the hospital. Four. Things were back to how they were once again, bonds restored like three months of MIA had never occurred.

“I promise,” Peter runs into the room, going for the desk with his Captain America suit in it. “Look!” He holds the pajama material up for his father to see,” I have a suit too!”

Tony nods encouragingly, even though deep down he can’t count on two hands all the things that seem wrong with this situation. “That’s a good buddy.” Tony smiles, nodding his head to Dum-E,” that’s so good, buddy, but dad needs a little help. Get the fire extinguisher from Dum-E. I’m upgrading you to fire duty.”

Peter nods, tugging his suit on over his pants and slipping into it as fast as he can. “Okay!” He takes the extinguisher from Dum-E, giving the bot an affectionate pat on the would be head,” ready!”

Later that night, Peter calls Rhodey. One thing on his mind after watching his father add gold to his suit. 

“Uncle Rhodey?” He doesn’t wait for his uncle to answer,” we should get dad one of those dogs with the vest. The ones you can't pet even though they're really good dogs? The doctor dogs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts on Tony getting a service dog? 
> 
> Also, like, I have like weird thoughts towards this whole thing. Is it any good? Should it fit more along the MCU timeline, like abandon shit like happened in this chapter for purely MCU stuff or do you guys like this?
> 
> I also am I like hype to bring in the rest of the Avengers, it's gonna be mclit.


	13. Chapter 13

“Daddy?”

Two things become very clear for Tony. One, he’s not in Afghanistan despite the feeling of sand beneath his fingers and the sound of Yinsen’s voice in his head. Two, Peter’s standing right beside his bed.

“Daddy?” This time Peter hiccups and Tony can smell vomit on his son’s breath and he moans. 

“I’m up, bud.” Tony pulls the blankets from his body, shifting so that he can place his bare feet on the hardwood floor. “Hey, J?” He doesn’t wait for the IA to show any signs of hearing him,” get these damn floors warm. It’s like walking across ice.”

“Of course, sir.”

Peter attacks himself to Tony’s chest and even though it hurts, Peter’s little ribs pressing into the Arc Reactor, Tony can forgive the boy for forgetting their little lesson about the fragility Tony’s general health. “I gotcha, little man.” 

Tony lets the air in his mouth out in a solid exhale, using the exhale to push himself off of the bed. With one hand on Peter’s back and the other lifting him off the bed, they make it. 

Once he’s steady on his feet, he rubs a hand up Peter’s back. Slowly, a little too late, he realizes Peter didn’t make it to the toilet or if he did, not all of the way. His little shirt, and probably his pants too, is soaked in vomit. “Hey bud, can you tell me if you made it to the potty?”

The question upsets Peter, Tony can feel the hot tears on his neck when Peter buries his head in Tony’s neck. Between heart-wrenching sobs, Peter tells him,” I throwed up.”

Tony nods, patient as he makes his way down the hall. Suspecting Peter’s room is the best bet to look in first. “I know, buddy, and Daddy is sorry that you feel so bad but you gotta tell me where you threw up.”

Finding nothing but thrown back sheets in Peter’s room, he backtracks to the bathroom. 

“I throwed up on my shirt.” Tony can hear Peter make a soft noise, it sounds so pathetic and small. For once making Peter truly seem like a child. “I throwed up on my Captain America ‘ajamas. I throwed up on the floor like a baby.”

Tony shushed him softly, rubbing his back. “Sh, sh, Petey. Big boys have accidents. It’s okay.” Tony wills himself not to make a noise when he sees the vomit and turns away. Placing a firm hand on the back of Peter’s head to stop him from looking. “Anyways, my bathroom is super cool so that’s where we’ll go and get you cleaned up. Huh?”

Peter nods into his neck. 

Tony can feel Peter playing with the ends of his hair, where his shirt meets his hair. He twists it with his hand, his other hand clenching Tony’s shirt tight. 

“Can-I wanna watch Paw Patrol. Can I watch Paw Patrol?”

Tony isn’t sure if Peter’s thinking about the time Tony bathed him in Tony’s room. Because his bathtub has a screen so that he can work even when he’s showering, an addition that makes Pepper mad, he let Peter watch Sponge Bob on it once. It was the first bathing experience between the two of them and it was an attempt to make Peter more comfortable with him. 

By the time they’ve arrived back to Tony’s room, Peter seems to have forgotten his request. Opting, instead to start crying softly. 

“Come on big guy.” Tony flips the toilet lid down, coming to sit down on it so that he can peel Peter’s dirty clothes off of him. Peter stands right where Tony puts him down, low hiccups escaping his mouth every few moments as he rubs his eyes tiredly and tries to not outright sob.

Tony tosses the soiled Captain America shirt to the side, warming a rag up in a sink he works on getting the pants off. 

“Do we gotta throw them away?” Peter looks on the verge of breaking down again as he grabs a handful of Tony’s shirt. 

Tony pulls the washcloth out from under the faucet,” no, buddy. Pepper might just have to work some magic on it. I’m afraid this out of my level of knowledge.” Which isn’t completely true because vomit and clothes is not a concoction that he’s unfamiliar with it’s just that blackout drunks don’t make the best morning people, so he never washed the aftermath of one of his parties. 

Peter nods, sobering up some as Tony washes him down. The rag feels good and even though he’s just standing in his Ninja Turtle underwear he could fall asleep right here.

“Daddy?” 

When Tony leans down to wash around Peter’s ankles, it seeming like a good idea seeing that Peter isn’t going to be able to make it through a bath for a maybe a day or two, Peter leans into his shoulder. His whole body just leaning into Tony and trusting that the older man will keep him from fall over.

Tony brings the rag through Peter’s hair, using its wet material to push some of his crazy curls from his face. “What is it, bud?”

Peter leans away just enough to put his hand on Tony’s chest,” I wanna see the light.”

It takes Tony a moment but then Peter’s fingers find the reactor underneath Tony’s shirts and he smiles at Tony in excitement. 

“I don’t know, buddy…” Tony had begun to hide the reactor. Sure, Peter thinks it’s the coolest thing. Press conferences, though? They can’t know. Only a handful of people know because they’re the ones that matter. He’s trying to raise a kid and get out fo the light of the public, the reactor will only prohibit that.

But… hiding from the public had turned into a self-conscious dance. The reactor makes him feel dirty like he’s not worth it all. Not the three months of searching they did to find his sorry ass and certainly not the traumatizing event of having Pepper stick her hand in his chest to replace the reactor.

“Daddy,” Peter whines, motioning for Tony to hold him. He’s fussy and sick and what kind of dad is he if he doesn’t grant Peter this one simple thing?

“Alright but only after we get back to bed alright?”

Peter nods and needs almost no prompting to leave the bathroom and move to Tony’s bed. He’s already lost in the seas of the comforter by the time Tony is out of the bathroom and sent a text to Pepper about fevers and puke. 

Tony stands at the end of his bed, aware that Peter’s watching him. He takes a haggard breath and takes off his first layer. It’s a regular shirt, just some ACDC or Metallica shirt. The next two layers are his own creation. The layer directly underneath his shirt is meant to be dense, stopping any of the reactors light from going through. A preventive layer he created for press conferences. The last layer is a flexible armor. He was testing to see if it moves well with his body and what better time for that than at night?

“Does it hurt?” Peter touches one of the segments of light. A part of him loves the reactor, infatuated by its great light but with the reactor sitting in the middle of Tony’s chest, it takes up Peter’s old favorite sitting place. He’s almost jealous of it.

Tony deflects the question, good at avoiding that particular question. “Not as much as your tummy, I would imagine.”

Peter shrugs and Tony thinks about the doctor’s appointment he had last week.

He’s supposed to avoid getting sick. The reactor makes his heart weak, not to mention the damage done to it by what the reactor keeps him safe from. It’s so large that it compromises his airway, they removed some lung to get it in there. The news was startling. 

Then they tried to tell him that keeping a six-year-old at optimal health would be a manageable feat. Obviously, those people have no kids.

“We’re gonna name our dog… Lightning McQueen.” Peter rolls over after he says this, letting his back nestle against Tony’s ribs. 

“Our dog?” Tony whispers, poking Peter’s side to rouse him. “What do you mean our dog?”

“Our secret dog,” Peter yawns. “I’ssa suprise.”

“Oh,” Tony mumbles sarcastically because that makes sense. “Okay, I’ll keep you to that, bud. Lightning McQueen. It’s a nice name for a dog, a nice ring to it. Unique.” 

It doesn’t matter, Peter’s already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. Dog names. We're obviously not calling this dog Lightning McQueen but I would like to keep it kinda related to Cars because I mean naming a dog fucking Lightning McQueen opens up so many embarrassing moments for older Peter and I'm here for it and so will Tony... I was thinking something like Mac
> 
> Also, um... Tony's getting a therapy dog cause his heart is shit and his brain is trippy so right after I let Obediah take his backstabbing jab I'm gonna give 'em a dog
> 
> Also, I'm like totally gonna skip over most of Iron Man 2 so if there's anything you'd like me to hint at hit me up. Also, I'm super excited to unfreeze CA and unleash the AVENGERS BITCH


	14. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how good this is, so forgive me

_“Who gives a damn about who you’ll die for?” The smell wafting from his father’s breath is potent, it burns Tony’s chest with each inhale but Howard never moves away. “Who are ya’ gonna live for Anthony? No one gives a damn when you die for this shit country. Who. Are. You. Going. To. Live. For.” Howard pokes Tony’s chest to accent each word._

Tony startles to consciousness. When he lifts his head, chin digging into his sternum, the blue light of the reactor is out. His chest aches, air trapped in his chest but he can’t exhale.

For a long-suffering moment, he thinks this is going to be it. He’s finally going to die and only just as he was learning to live. That’s how life works. You beg for death for years and finally when you’ve got something to stick around for you die.

“Daddy!”

**Four Hours Earlier**

Peter keeps getting himself into trouble. It’s not 100% his fault, the adults are into some deep shit too it’s just that he likes to follow them too and the walls aren’t soundproof…

Peter has this hero complex. He wants to save Tony from his mind. He wants to wrap his father up in those bubble papers… bubble wrap. Peter wants to wrap Tony up in bubble wrap and make him drink water, juice, anything but the coffee he keeps pumping into his body because Peter does notice.

He wants to save Pepper from the video. He’s not sure what happens on the video but Pepper watches it a lot. She watched it three times before she showed Tony. The only thing Peter knows about the video is that his father is in it and he always yells the same thing:

_“P-Peter? Pet’r! Don’t look! Don’t-!”_

The video is bad. It makes Pepper cry, it makes Tony afraid. 

He wants to save Happy too. Happy is afraid to be Happy, Peter thinks. He also thinks it’s kinda funny that Happy is called that, ‘Happy' ‘cause he most certainly is not.

Peter can not understand adults. Pepper never tells his father that she loves him but she always looks out after them and Peter is almost certain Tony loves Pepper. Except for today, they did say something like ‘I love you’.

“I don’t want you going to face him alone!” Pepper’s hands keep crossing in front of her like she’s grasping for a clipboard she doesn't have or using her arms to protect her heart. 

Tony doesn’t even notice,” this is my fight, Pep. I can’t ask you to bring yourself into it.”

Pepper rolls her eyes,” okay? Then get Rhodey, he’s your best friend and besides, we’re talking premeditated murder, Tony. This is not just a ‘you’ fight.”

Tony looks shocked,” if it’s not just me then who else is doing this, Pepper? Who else is going to get into that suit and-”

“Dammit, Tony!” Pepper throws her hands down, her eyes wet with tears. “You want someone else to get in the suit? I’ll do it! That boy, that precious baby boy upstairs, that looks at you like you hung the fucking moon? He’d climb in that suit for you because you’ve both got the same twisted sense of a hero complex!” She throws an accusing finger at his chest but doesn’t touch him, instead her hand coming to drop limply by her side.

She collects herself, sniffling past tears,” stop acting like you have to do everything by yourself. It’s-It’s selfish and stupid.” She crosses her arms around her chest, turning her head away from him. 

Peter felt like watching them was an invasion of privacy but Tony wasn’t in his room like he promised Peter he would be if Peter happened to need him. And Peter does need Tony. His night light stopped working. 

So Peter watches in a satisfied silence as Tony sighs in defeat and apologizes, stepping forward to hug Pepper. 

“Pep?” Tony puts his hand on her bicep, smiling softly. “I’m sorry, Pep. I-” He doesn’t have to say anything else, she embraces him hard. Pulling them chest to chest, their relationship, the reactor, it’s all forgotten because the only thing that either need is right there.

“Daddy?” 

Tony frowns at him,” Peter what are you doing out of bed?” Being a parent, Tony has come to find out, isn’t all snuggles and ‘I love you’s it kind of sucks and kids don’t listen and they never want to go to bed. 

Peter worries with his fingers, no longer certain that his father and Pepper will mind having him around tonight. “My… My night light went out.”

Tony shakes his head, the hug between him and Pepper now over and second in his mind. “Pete, you told me that light went out already this week and when I went in there it was fine. You gotta stop lying buddy. How am I going to know when you’re telling the truth? Now come give me and Pepper another hug and go to bed. I don’t want to see you anymore tonight.”

Peter obeys, even though he’s terrified of his bedroom. He did lie. Twice but he heard Pepper crying the first time and the second time it was kind of cold in his room and he knew he should have asked JARVIS… but then he got downstairs and saying he was cold sounded silly so he lied. 

Now he has to go to bed in a pitch black room and he thinks this is what kids feel like when they shout that they hate their parents. 

Peter goes back to his bed but he doesn’t go to bed. That’s okay, though, because neither does anyone else. 

Peter hears this weird ringing about an hour after he Tony sent him back to bed. If he strains his ears it hurts so he does the only thing that makes sense to him, he crawls off of his bed and curls up under his bed. 

“JARVIS?” Peter whispers and when his call goes unanswered he can’t help but whimper. He’s afraid and he doesn’t want to get into trouble but it’s dark and he can hear someone talking but it’s not his father…

A sudden crash, the sound of a body hitting the floor, makes Peter jump and smack his head on the top of his bed. Fear holts him from even reaching to soothe the pain in his head. He scrambles out from under his bed and bolts down the stairs, aiming for the living room. 

The lights are on, which makes Peter’s chest beat harder, faster. Tony hates it when he leaves lights on. Just because they’re both billionaires doesn’t mean they should waste energy. 

There’s another crash, the sound of something metal hitting metal. 

Peter hesitates. He’s afraid. He knows what Tony sounds like when he’s working. It’s a constant state of sound, a never-ending clash and bang. That sound, whatever it was, is not the sound of his father working through another sleepless night. 

Hesitantly, Peter moves to the garage. He’s not sure what it is he’s going to do if he finds someone downstairs but he’s gotta go. He’s a big kid.

Except, he sees nothing. He sees nothing for a solid, relieving moment. Until he sees legs. 

Peter looks behind him, the glass walls and doors giving him no leniency to see in without getting closer. So he… goes in.

Fear quickly moves to relief when he sees the rest of the body. 

An ACDC shirt pulled up so that he can see the pale skin of his father’s chest and the same light blue jeans his father was wearing when he tucked Peter into bed. 

Except, the fear comes back because his father isn’t moving and the arc reactor… is missing.

“Daddy?” Peter nudges Tony with a hand, startling when Tony lets out a gasping breath.

Peter jerks away, moving quickly so that he’s away from Tony. Fearing to touch him. 

Peter has only ever seen his father’s chest without the reactor once when Tony needed Pepper to change the reactor types. That was… abnormal. Tony didn’t allow Peter to get too close. He didn’t want him to see and now Peter can tell why.

Tony moves, just a fraction of an inch, just hard enough for Peter to see that he’s pointing to the old arc reactor encased in glass.

Peter is hesitant to move. He wants to help but he’s afraid. 

He kicks the reactor, backing up when it touches Tony’s fingertips. 

He watches as his father shakily lifts it up and brings it crashing down. 

He’s pale and sweaty, sicker than Peter has ever seen him. 

It takes a long moment, stretched out by panting breathes and fear because Peter can’t help and Tony is almost too weak to save himself. 

“Pete,” the reactor in his chest doesn’t seem bright enough. Its light is not strong but dim and unused. “I need you… to call Pepper.” 

Peter nods but he doesn’t move.

“Now! Peter, you have to call Pepper!” 

Peter startles, moving to retrieve Tony’s phone from his pocket like Tony motions him to do. He recoils though when Tony touches his arm. It startles them both but Tony’s hardly got the energy to sit up let alone apologize and sympathize with a child who he already knows will hold on to his words for years to come. 

“P-Pepper?”

Tony contains a moan as he forces his still stiff muscles to reach out to Peter get the boy to hand the phone over. His fingers are still too heavy to grasp the phone well, Peter’s nimble fingers were his only shot at getting to Pepper. 

Peter has managed to save his life again, in just another way.

“Pepper, you have to get out of the office. Obediah- He- Just run, Pep. You gotta run, come here. Go anywhere but get out of there.” 

Peter watches Tony. It isn’t curiosity, like usual, that keeps him drawn to his father’s side but rather fear. Even in his weakened state, Peter knows that Tony will protect him and if Pepper needs to run away from Obediah that means Obediah is just as mean as Peter thought.

“I’ll meet you there-” Tony nods. “Okay. Be safe.”

 

Peter was supposed to stay out of the way. He was scooped up by Rhodey and left with Pepper. That was supposed to leave him somewhere safe. Except, he can still hear the sound of metal against metal and the sharp inhale of his father’s breathe as Obediah beats him this way and that.

Safety has never been something that Peter has feared he didn’t have. 

Just before his mother’s death, she was his protector. She was too weak to wipe away his tears, the only thing either could offer for the other was a warm body and at the end of the last day, not even that. Her love, the safety he felt by simply being in the same room as her, was undeniable. 

Tony… Tony gives him an empire of safety. Robots that snap at him, communicating in high pitched whines and grabby hands. They grab at his pants, move cups from his pointy elbows, stop his falling body by nothing more than the seat of his pants.

JARVIS, too. The man in the sky who is always looking out for them. He stops Peter from burning toast and sleeping in too late. He offers a British consult for homework and for when Lego instructions turn-up missing. He’s like a… grandfather, as far as Peter can tell because he’s never actually had one.

Tony, himself… he’s nothing the others. 

Safety feels like nights that they spend curled up on the couch, the arc reactor lighting up the space between them. The hum of the machine drones out of the drum of Tony’s heartbeat but if Peter lays really still, he can it. In those moments, his head against Tony’s chest, that is safety. 

Peter knows no can hurt him. Not with his family of AI’s, Rhodey, Pepper, and a father with a suit of armor.

Safe until Pepper blows the large reactor. 

There’s so much going on as his father shouts out for her to do it. Wire’s short-circuiting, sending sparks everywhere. Obediah halfway through some rant about power and Tony’s helmet is gone. 

_“You gotta do it, Pepper! I need you to do it! Get Peter and GO!”_

It all happens at once. Pepper flips the twitch, Peter tucked under her arm, as he shouts and fights to get away from her. Understanding too well what his father’s plan is.

It takes Peter too long. His little legs can only carry him so quickly to where he needs to be. There’s an explosion, fire that feels like it’s licking hot pain up his arms but he has to get to his dad. 

His father isn’t moving. 

The arc reactor is dead.

It does nothing but takes up space in his chest as it sits in black silence.

Then Tony’s eyes open, the reactor turning blue a moment later.

“Daddy!” Peter rushes to Tony’s side, his fingers touching the burnt, broken metal but he sees nothing more than his father.   
Every fiber of his being feels like it’s broken. His ribs are shot, Obediah’s death squeeze really took its toll, but he still manages a smile. Some comfort for the curly-haired child so eager to depend on him.

He’d mistaken life for this losing chess game. A match where one must lose it’s most valuable pieces. An Endgame where the only solution was figuring out who it was that he was willing to die for.

Peter. Every fiber of his son has taught him something new. 

It isn’t about who you’d die for. In a rush, a race to the grave that list is longer than any one person can anticipate.

It is those you wish to live for that matter. 

Peter makes him want to live. He wants to see the ripe old age of 110. He wants to watch Peter walk down the stage at graduation. Marry the girl of his dreams, only after having his heart broken a good few times. Watch him have a family. He wants Peter to live, too. 

He wants Peter to thrive and for that, Tony will have to be there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting in like a week or however long it's been. I've literally been sick for like forever and I still am (yay me!)
> 
> The sick brain can't tell if this is shit or not but too be fair it probably is. I'm sorry about that!
> 
> Uh... yeah. Gonna put Tony in the hospital, let my boi get healthy, and then we gonna fix his broken ass with Peter and a dog. WIth the love and admiration I'm gonna shine down on this depressed bastard... he won't see it coming.
> 
> Yeah but then I'm like gonna fuck him up with that poisoning and some stuff so that should be fun too!


	15. Heart

“Daddy?” 

The machines are everywhere, each one monitoring and waiting for Tony’s bruised and battered body to give out. His heart, bruised and bleeding, gives the EKG a run for its money. The nurses are on a constant run to come in and check on him, to make sure his heart is still beating at all. 

“Yeah, buddy?” 

Rhodey knows what’s happening, he’s been informed and it hurts. Tony’s heart is failing him. It’s giving up and with each fleeting moment, Tony is too. 

“How do you organize a-a-a galactic party?”

Tony wants to hold his son. To gather him up in his arms and breath in the scent of the fake cherry shampoo that Peter loves so much and just stay like that forever. He never wants Peter to grow out of his excited stammer. The adorable way that he repeats himself when he’s excited. Tripping and fumbling with his own tongue but not minding it one bit.

“How, buddy?”

Peter twist his hands, an excited smile smacked right across his face. “You planet!” 

Tony smiles and that’s okay. Peter doesn’t mind that his joke doesn’t get applause or a cookie. He just wants to be with Tony.

“Mr. Stark?” Another nurse, tidy brunette hair pinned into a bun, and eyes that immediately go to Peter with a warm smile. “Mr. Rhodes and Peter can stay but it’s highly recommended that you get some rest.”

She’s right, the whole room knows it. 

She comes into the room, smiling and giving Peter a little wave as she adjusts the IV in Tony’s hand and takes his vitals.

“So, how old are you Peter?” She tries to distract the boy from the blood that she’s drawing from his father’s already too pale, too weak body. His eyes don’t move from her hands as he answers.

“Uh…” he looks to Tony but his father’s watching him from under hooded eyes, the oxygen mask over his face clouding slowly as he drags in the air. “Seven.”

Tony lets out a shuddering breath, one that sounds so close to a rattle that both Peter and the nurse jump to attention, their eyes coming to rest on him. “N-not yet.”

The nurse doesn’t understand what he means, she blames it on the morphine she pushes through the IV line, but Peter understands.

“I turn seven in… in… one month and fourteen days.” Peter corrects himself and smiles happily, looking at Tony when he happily reports,” but I think that should let me count as seven.”

Rhodey stands from the chair, the first time he’s moved since he lead Peter in… God knows how long ago. “Okay, Pete, your dad is pretty tired. Why don’t we let him rest up? We can come back later, maybe bring some food and we can have dinner here?”

The nurse doesn’t say anything but Tony nods his approval.

“Be good for Uncle Rhodey?” He feels useless as Peter climbs on to the bed and has to hug him while Tony struggles to breathe, even though he’s doing _nothing_. “I love you, buddy.”

Peter untangles himself from Tony, not even looking back when Rhodey extends his hand, waiting for Peter to join him at the door. “I know.”

 

“I’m okay.”

Peter isn’t here.

“I’m okay.”

The room’s cold, there’s something on his chest.

“I-I’m okay.”

It’s harder to breathe. The walls are black, he’s in the cave again. He got out though, so that means… Oh God, where’s Peter. Peter. He needs to find-

“I’m okay. I-I-I’m-”

He can’t breathe. He’s trying but no air is coming in and if Peter is… If Peter isn’t here then where is he? And if anything has happened to Peter than he’d rather stop breathing than continue on.

“Mr. Stark!” 

He’s on the floor. Not a cave floor. 

“Hold still.” Air. A mask is pushed on to his face and the fresh hiss of air floods his lungs and the light-headed confusion is masked by air. Sweet air.

The tile sucks his body heat from him. His heart is hardly able to maintain the heat he needs as is as it beats progressively weaker in his chest. If he was cold before now he’s freezing.

“Clear an OR.” 

He’s on a stretcher, being pushed down a hall so fast he can’t count the lights as they pass. It’s hard to breathe on his back. He opens his mouth, meaning to call out to the brunette nurse, surely she’ll help but not a sound comes out.

The mask comes off and the hiss of machines is not one that accompanies the hiss of his oxygen mask. 

This air taste… like medicine.

His thoughts seem thick.

His eyes are impossibly heavy.

“Rest easy, Mr. Stark. You’re in good hands.”

 

“You gave a scare.” 

It’s still impossibly cold. 

“Here.” 

Rhodey and… and… Pepper. He sighs in relief, happily excepting the spoonful of ice chips being pushed against his cracked lips. Rhodey pats his arm and pulls a blanket up to his chin. 

“What ‘appened?” 

Peter? He looks around the room, panic bubbling up when he can’t find a single head of curls in the room.

“When the reactor went out, after your fight with Obediah, some shrapnel got close to your heart. It did some damage, it’s why you were so sick.” Pepper shovels another spoonful into his mouth, smothering the itch from his dry throat. “They went in, fixed you up. You should be… relatively okay now.”

Tony nods, the oxygen mask is pushed on to his face. He’d come to believe his relationship with the damned piece of machine was done but it seems that Pepper had simply moved it from his face momentarily.

“Where’s Peter?” He’s becoming groggy. No longer cold and the scratch of his throat eased by the ice chips he’s sinking back into pillows.

Rhodey and Pepper share a look, a battle if Tony didn’t know any better.

He’s already back under before anyone has to answer.

 

“We really didn’t need to bring the wheelchair home.”

His voice is tired, his body slumped in the chair. Nothing holding him up except the leather-bound back. It’s a demonstration of weakness but he’d had open heart surgery a week ago and if his paling skin is any indication, he’s about to the flu or maybe pneumonia. 

The wheelchair doesn’t really matter, it’s the fact that he’s too weak to go walking all around the compound. Any other patient would be adviced to take short walks, this allows the heart muscles to get the action they need. But when you have a giant magnet in your chest, that causes decreased lung function, and shrapnel floating about it’s a little different. 

Healing is taking a long time and he’s got this rash across his chest. It looks like a bunch of puzzle pieces, it doesn’t itch and Tony hasn’t had any time to really look at it but it’s still worrisome. 

“Hey.”

He was pretty sure that Rhodey was taking to him to his room but now they’re in the living room. They had better just be saying ‘hi’ to Pepper and heading for Peter because he might fall asleep on her if she gets to talking.

“Take it easy, okay?” Pepper says and he just nods, of course, he’s going to take it easy. Rhodey leaves in an hour for a mission in Afganistan and that means it’s just Peter and him and there is not a chance in hell that he’s going to pass out in front of his kid again.   
“Bring him out, Peter.” 

Tony turns in the chair and is completely surprised at the sight of his son leading a dog through the living room.

“A doctor dog…” Tony mumbles, Peter had been going on about dogs for the longest time and yeah, of course, he thought about it, but it’s a bit much. He’s been raising Peter for less than a year, he’s got heart issues, and Peter’s just a baby. The two of them can’t raise a puppy.

Peter doesn’t look at Tony. Shame or fear, either way, Tony can’t decide which it is.

“Peter had this idea and I thought it was crazy but given this past week, Pepper and I… Look Tones, I know we’re stepping over so many boundaries. He’s your kid and this is your house but we thought it would…” Rhodey lets his voice trail off as Tony lets out a soft chuckle. 

Remaining in his chair, he leans out. He’s shaking his head and patting his knee, calling to the dog. 

Peter lets the leash fall to the ground as the dog moves to Tony. 

He’s German Shepphard, huge, and his entire body blocks Tony out as he puts his paws on Tony’s thighs and licks at Tony’s beard. “Alright, alright,” he can’t hide his amused chuckles, they hurt his still healing chest but it feels good to feel alive. 

The dog curiously sniffs at his chest, turning his head and looking at Tony.

“The lady who trained him calls him Max,” Rhodey says and Tony smiles when the dog’s tail starts wagging at the mention of his name. “He’s got some baggage, Tony. He’s the runt of a litter that was killed by their owner. He was found half dead in a trash bag.”

Max tilts his head to the other side, seemingly eyeing Tony up and down.

“He’s been trained for PTSD, it’s what he was trained for since he was a puppy. He’s a little clumsy though and his trainer decided he wasn’t cut for the job.”

Max lays his head on Tony’s thigh, sighing. 

“I took Peter and we were supposed to get this fluffy little something. A girl, she was adorable but Peter fell in love with Max. The lady warned us that Max’s training was very much successful it’s just that his personality gets in his way a little bit.”

Tony has no idea how service dogs are trained, MIT never went over that. So, all of this just goes over his head and that’s not to say that he’ll never understand because tonight, probably around 11 he’s going to conduct some research.

“So, Max is certified. That’s all taken care of, it’s that the lady, herself, wanted to train him a little longer.” Rhodey smiles over at Peter,” but you should have seen them, Tones. That lady gave us Max in a heartbeat. They just fell in love with one another, it was even more adorable than usual for Peter.”

Tony nods his head, looking down at Max when a wet, cold nose pushes against his hand. “Pete?” The morphine that the nurse had given him before he left the hospital had created a pool of warmth in his stomach and as it works it’s way through his body, working the kinks out his neck and easing his chest open, he’s finding it harder to stay awake.

Peter moves from foot to foot, an action Tony knows he does to soothe himself. It’s like when he twists his fingers or nibbles on the ends of his nails. “Yeah?”

Tony motions him with his hand, nothing more than a sloppy open and close of his hand.

Peter glances at Rhodey but does as he’s told. He’s scared… not of his father, not of the thick bandages all across his father’s chest, but of the uncertainty. Of Mortality. So he does what he knows he’s allowed to do and he climbs up, as well as he can, into the wheelchair and puts himself right under Tony’s nose.

“To the bedroom?” Rhodey asks, not waiting for an answer before pushing the wheelchair towards the elevator.

“Thank you, Pete.” Tony closes his eyes, too aware of the sounds of paws following them. It won’t be that bad, another set of eyes to watch Peter. Dogs are great. Not nearly as low maintenance as cats but… Peter wanted a dog so it’s okay.

“You really like Max?” Tony can feel the tiny fingers twisted in his shirt. Nervously wearing the shit thin.

Tony nods, running a hand up Peter’s back. “I love him, buddy. There’s only one person who has ever gotten me a better gift.”

Peter looks up at him, curious and half-hurt by that remark.

“Your mother gave the world the best gift ever the day you were born.”

Never mind the details that had to occur to get to where they are today. Never mind the panic attacks or the nightmares.

“I love you too, Dad.”

“I love you more, buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Tony's Service Dog is for his PTSD which, as I have come to learn, is an added bonus because, or friendly furry friend, can also look out for his shit heart. He'll mainly be around for panic attacks and stuff, you know just to juice stuff up.
> 
> So, I uh have like no idea where I am going with this next. I threw a little hint in there about the poisoning. I just don't think a lot of things from Iron Man 2 would have happened with Peter there too so that leaves me with a little hole. However, I am hella excited to have Fury meet Peter. 
> 
> So what I meant was if you guys have anything you want to see next let me know bc I don't have ideas at the moment


	16. Rhodey

Max is good. Rhodey can see that Max is getting Tony through the long nights. 

He’s slipping. He’s in pain and not just physically. Every time he has to tell Peter that he can’t take him to the park when Ned comes by and Tony can’t chase them around. Rhodey tries to help but that seems to push Tony farther away. 

Pepper has started staying the night. She never leaves and on more than one occasion Rhodey has walked in to find Pepper and Tony on the couch. 

Parts of their Tony never came back from Afganistan and it seems like the little bit that did come back was ripped apart by Obediah. 

“Friday?” Rhodey is up out of the bed, his breathing still not controlled, as he thinks about his dream. Tony dying in his arms. Peter shouting for his father. “Is everyone…” he swallows thickly,” is everyone where they’re supposed to be?”

It takes the IA a moment to come up with an answer. “Ms. Potts is safely sleeping in her bed but sir and Peter are on the roof.”

Rhodey tosses the comforter off of his body. Tony wouldn’t. He’d never hurt his son and yet Rhodey can’t get the image out o his head. Tony just teetering dangerously on the edge of the tower. 

Rhodey no longer trusts Tony alone.

“Colonel Rhodes, for what it may be worth, sir is of no viable threat to himself nor Peter.”

He gets to the roof and he almost shouts out for his best friend but he’s stopped by the sight before him.

Tony, Peter, and Max are all laying together, nowhere near teetering on the edge posed to jump.

“-and I met Rhodey at MIT when I was a kid. He used to get me into all kinds of trouble but the best part was when he’d take me on the roof of this old bar.” Tony lifts an arm to the sky,” he’d sneak me up there and we’d have our own parties.”

Max is laying across Tony’s chest, his fur dimming the Ac Reactor’s light as he lays just partially on top of it. His head is on Peter’s chest. 

Tony is looking up at the stars. “He's always looking out for me, for us.”

Peter is safely tucked under Tony’s arm, his head resting on Tony’s shoulder. “Uncle Rhodey is the bestest.”   
Rhodey lets himself lean against the door, relief flooding his veins, and exhaustion seeping back in.

“Yeah, he is.” Tony agrees softly rubbing Max’s head when Max nudges him with his nose. “Pepper too. What we do without them?”

Peter shrugs, turning himself closer to Tony when a cool breeze makes him shiver.

Tony lays there for a moment longer before patting Max and nudging Peter to sit up,” alright, let’s go inside. It’s getting cold.” 

They all stand up, Max following Peter when he moves to the door first but stopping when Tony doesn’t follow. 

Rhodey stands straight, not sure what Tony’s doing as the man stands looking over the skyline, eyes fixed on the edge that’s not far enough away.

Max whines, leaving Peter to lick at Tony’s hand and gently pull at his pants.

“I’m coming,” Max seems to literally pull Tony from his thoughts. “I’m coming.”

Rhodey sinks back down to the stairs, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself back down. Tony’s not going to jump. Tony isn’t going to do anything stupid. Tony is not stupid. Tony is better.

“Good night, Pete.” 

Rhodey waits until he hears Tony go to bed. Waiting through Peter’s muffled voice asking questions and then the sound of Tony and Max walking down the hall. Then, only when he’s counted off ten minutes in his head and sure that Tony isn’t making any more noise, Rhodey falls asleep too.

 

The last thing that Tony remembers before going to bed was putting Peter to bed and he knows that because every night before he goes to bed he puts Peter to bed. Every night, Peter manages to come and find him, guilt trips him into feeling bad for making Peter go to bed, and then cuddle up wherever Tony sticks him until he falls asleep and then Tony carries him back to bed.

It’s a schedule. Tony doesn’t mind it. Peter has school during the day so the only time he gets to spend with Tony is the short time between dinner and bedtime. As long as he doesn’t have homework. So Peter makes up for it, he waits half an hour, just enough time to let Tony have a breakdown or do something risky concerning Iron Man suit updates. Then Peter comes down, hardly making any sounds until he gets close enough that it the sudden noise doesn’t startle Tony and the drawn-out noise doesn’t make him paranoid.

The damn kid loves him so much and that’s a terrifying development but it’s been developing since the first day they met each other. 

It’s why it’s a little surprising that there is a Peter sized body laying wrapped around the Arc Reactor. 

“Mmm,” Tony presses a kiss to the curls just under his nose. They tickle his cheeks and he smiles as he rubs his hand up his son’s back. Peter moves, shifting just a small bit on Tony’s chest, but hums in content when Tony moves his hand to Peter’s hair. 

Max looks up then, eyes observing both of them. It’s then that Tony feels the pressure Max is supplying to his legs.

He’d done his research but the idea that Max could know that Tony was having a nightmare and be able to stop or prohibit them by just sitting on his legs. By applying pressure and maybe that’s what Peter is doing too. 

“Daddy?” Peter stretches, moving around so that he stays safely planted on Tony’s chest. Once he’s done, when he’s carefully situated, and his legs are stretched out he plucks at Tony’s shirt. It was a little aggravating when he first started doing it but now it’s like Tony’s trembling left hand, it happens. 

“Whatcha need, bud?” He expects something about wanting brownies or cupcake for breakfast. Because Peter is brilliant and he knows that ‘daddy’ melts Tony’s, iron heart. He’s expecting Peter to use it against him and instead Peter looks up at him with big brown eyes.

“Daddy,” Peter adamantly touches the Reactor,” does your family live far away like Pepper’s?” He traces the pattern of the reactor with his finger, looking at the humming devices embedded in Tony’s chest instead of actually looking at his father.

It’s fine because Tony isn’t looking at Peter either.

“I, uh-My parents, they’re not like Pepper’s so… not really.” Tony glances at Peter trying to detect something but Peter just nods his head.

“Was…” Peter stops himself, glancing at Tony before gluing his eyes back on the Reactor. “Were they mean? Michael’s dad is really mean. Sometimes… sometimes, he hits Michael.”

Tony shakes his head,” no, no. Uh, my…” Tony shakes his head, trying to answer Peter without telling him the brutal truth. It’s… It’s not fair. “My parents are dead, Pete.” He pats Peter’s back,” so, uh, why don’t we get up? We’ve got to get you ready for school and pack you a lunch…”

Pepper and Rhodey are already up. Leaning over the counter between their cups of coffee.

“They were on the roof,” Rhodey says,” and I thought he was-”

“Rhodey!” Peter comes running down the stairs, Max hot on his heels. Rhodey doesn’t have enough time to brace for impact before all of Peter comes crashing into his legs.

“Hey, buddy. Did you sleep well last night?”

Peter nods and looks back at Tony, who is walking slowly down the stairs with bags around his eyes that make it look like he hasn’t slept in a year. “I slept in Daddy’s room with Max!”

Pepper comes around the side of the counter and pulls down Captain Crunch they’ve all been told not to touch. It’s Peter’s and it’s what he chooses to buy every week for breakfast with the five dollars Tony gives him if he’s good. The other dollar or so goes to a candy bar that Peter happily splits between everyone in the car. 

“That’s nice, I’m sure your daddy really appreciated that,” Pepper smiles at Tony but he’s staring off at God knows what. She glances at Rhodey but the other man is already on it. “So, how’s the crunch, Pete?”

Peter nods his head, kicking his legs under the table. 

Rhodey frowns when Max leaves Peter’s side with a soft whine. He sits at Tony’s feet nudging and licking at the tips of Tony’s fingers.

“Pepper, take Peter to get some clothes on.” 

Rhodey can hear the hesitation but trust Pepper to get Peter out of the room. 

“Stark men are made of Iron,” Tony mumbles softly to himself, his breath catches for a moment and Rhodey sees a single tear fall down Tony’s face.

“Tones,” Rhodey reaches out to touch Tony but he flinches again, repeating himself again.

Max pushes Tony’s legs, making him sit down on the edge of the couch. Once he’s sitting, Max stands on his hind legs and licks at Tony’s face.

“Stark men-” Tony gasps and there’s nothing to hold back his tears. 

Rhodey pulls Tony into a hug,” it’s okay, Tones. It’s okay. You’re okay, Peter’s okay. Just breath, just breath.”

He won’t lie and say that he didn’t sit on the couch with his fingers over Tony’s pulse, checking and making sure that the heart they know is faulty keeps going because Peter needs a dad. 

 

And he’s not going to let Howard Stark mess that up.

“Daddy?” Peter comes around the couch, clad in one of the Iron Man shirts that they just started selling in the stores in New York. “I gotta go to school now.”

Pepper tries to usher Peter away,” don’t bother Daddy, Pete. I’ll take you to school.”

But neither Stark’s listen and Tony hugs Peter to his chest, breathing in the scent of that cheap cherry soap that Peter begs for.

“You always squeeze too tight, Daddy.” 

“I love you, Peter.”

“I love you more.”

Tony nods his head, pressing his forehead to Peter’s,” never, buddy. Never.”


	17. Natalie Rushman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need a beta

No one can find Tony.

Dutiful and like a loyal dog Tony roams New York's streets looking for a warm spot to die.

The poison is almost to his heart. It's stretched from his fingertips to the tops of his ears and it's impossible to hide it any longer.

Rhodey had already made his assumption last week. 

Self-harm. Tony could see the accusation forming long before Rhodey started invading in his room without knocking.

Before the self-harm, he'd thought suicidal.

Tony had started giving his things away. He'd drawn up papers about what would be Peter's in the company if he should die. His favorite watch is probably sitting in a pawn shop after a rather reckless party that ended him on both Pepper and Rhodey's shit list.

And today, when Peter had come home excited to remind Tony that today is the day of his play…

Tony had to tell him that he couldn't come.

Rhodey had cussed and shouted. 

Max wasn't happy and Tony knows it's because the dog knows that he's dying too. Tony hadn't said anything though, truth be told he couldn't have argued as he meant it anyway. His body had stopped functioning properly some hours before.

His voice would have trembled, his legs couldn't have held him up. He didn't tell Peter no because he was being an ass he told Peter no because he physically lacked the ability to.

Now he's alone and it's windy and he should have dressed warmer.

“Rushman?” Natalie, right. She works for the company, stunning with red curly hair. So why is she cornering him in an ally with a tall black guy with an eyepatch? 

“Found him, boss.”

The black man nods and before Tony can move away, Natalie is leaned over him and shoving a needle into his neck.

“Evening, Stark.”

He feels like life is coming in his lungs and for the first time in months, he takes a breath that feels satisfying. His heart beats a little faster and he opens his eyes. “What the hell was that!”

The black man smiles,” the name’s Fury and-”

“I’m Natasha… Romanoff.”

Tony takes in a shaky breath,” Christ, am I being kidnapped by the Russian mob?”

Fury lets out a throaty laugh,” no, Stark. I’m afraid you’re not being kidnapped at all. In fact, Mrs. Romanoff is here to take you home.”

The effects of whatever they’d injected him with feel like they’re wearing off and he struggles to stay awake,” yeah, well, she’s fired.”

His eyes slide closed and he realizes that they’ve drugged him up.

“That’s not up to you.” He feels someone lift him to his feet and he has half the mind to lock his knees and keep himself standing. 

“Get him home.”

“Yes, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a tumblr ya'll can find me at hemingwaytyping 
> 
> If anybody wants to... you know, help me do a thing that involves another Iron Dad fanfic that I need some help balancing out. 
> 
> By the way, I like don't use my tumblr on account I literally just made it so... yea


	18. New Arc Reactor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suprise, I'm not dead!

Peter watches his father work. 

He’s been placed on top of one of the old filing cabinets, his likes it, it provides a very nice view. He can see what his dad sees and he gets to watch his dad work and it seems like Peter hasn’t been able to do that in a while.

“What is Peter doing?” Rhodey steps into the basement, looking past the ring of machines Tony has lined up to Peter munching on questionable looking candy.

Tony turns, oil covering his arms and glasses slipping down his nose,” uh, I don’t know. What are you doing Peter?”

Peter kicks his legs, sending his light sketchers into the air with patterned colors. He smiles, a drop of food on his homemade ‘suit’,” eaten candy from the drawer.” He holds one up, allowing Tony to see it.

Tony squints,” huh, he’s eating from the drawer.” He lifts his hand, opening it in a motion Peter understands as ‘toss me one’ and dutifully tosses his father one of the candies. “See?” Tony shows it to Rhodey before peeling the wrapper off and tosses the starburst into his mouth.

Rhodey shakes his head,” that’s nice. Come with me, Pete, let’s go get some real lunch.” He holds his arms up, ready to let Peter just slump into his arms, but Peter glances at Tony and shakes his head. “No? You don’t want to come to have lunch with your favorite uncle? We can take Max.”

Taking Max, though, would take a lot. Max has been glued to Tony’s side. Usually, he’d spend time between Peter and Tony following them both around and just generally being a dog. Not lately though. 

At bedtime, Max would circle around to Peter’s bed before trotting back to Tony’s bed to lay across the man’s chest. 

“I’m helping Daddy,” Peter looks at Tony and then points at his clothes. “Can’t you tell Uncle Rhodey? I’m wearing my super suit!”

Rhodey glances at Tony but the mans’ trying to get to the water bottle Pepper threw at him two hours ago while not tripping over Max or the crap he’s got spread everywhere. “Fine then, do you want me to bring you-”

“Waffles!”

Tony does hear that, "no waffles, Pete. You can’t eat waffles for every meal.”

Hearing ‘dad’ Tony come out gives Rhodey just enough faith that things are getting better. 

“But daddy-”

Tony shakes his head and Peter sticks his bottom lip out. He’s pouting and it’s normal because he’s just a kid and Rhodey couldn’t be more thrilled for such an action. 

When his pouting doesn't work Peter decides,” I want… mashed potatoes.”

“You have to eat more than mashed potatoes,” Tony shouts, finding his water bottle and crushing it when he’s done. 

Peter thumps his foot against the cabinet, thinking. “Pizza!”

Rhodey nods,” I can do that.” He ruffles Peter’s hair smiling at the giggle he gets for his antics,” you up for pizza too, Tones?”

“What?” Tony was already bent over one of the machines, balancing it. “Oh-uh, pizza right. Yeah, I’ll eat some.”

“Bye Uncle Rhodey!”

 

Peter’s isn’t really sure what it is that his dad is doing but he’s excited to be in the garage again. 

“Ready Pete?”

Peter isn’t sure what he’s ready for but he’s wearing thick glasses over his eyes and a yellow helmet. “Yep!”

Then his father destroyed the garage and Peter became very afraid for his father’s sake for when Rhodey and Pepper find out. It was cool to watch the blue beam break the wall and cut the rakes and stuff in half. 

“Sir, I have to run-” JARVIS always sounds so done when he’s talking to Peter’s dad and Peter almost understands why.

Peter watches as his father takes the arc reactor out and slides the little triangle in. Disregarding the conversation JARVIS was trying to have about testing it and making sure it was safe.

“Bwaaaa!” 

He watches as his father coughs, gagging as the clicks the new reactor into place. 

“Taste like coconuts… and metal!”

He smiles at Peter, the reactor light really bright, and Peter squints behind his glasses.

Peter will admit it was really cool until the light dimmed really quickly and his father puked on the floor. 

 

 

“Pete,” standing beside his father he can see that the crossword puzzles on his father’s neck are fading. “This is Nick Fury. He’s-”

The man leans down and Peter focuses in on the eye patch. He sticks his hand out,” I’m your Uncle Fury.”

Peter glances up at his father and back at Fury,” cool!” Today was kinda the coolest day Peter had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be a jump? I want to have Tony discover Peter is Spiderman and have a meltdown there so in order do that the next chapter is going to have to be a series of shorts to get Peter to the age of 11?
> 
> So, if you want to see something let me know. I'll do a birthday party but I need some ideas so hit me with some small Peter shit you would like to see


	19. Aging

Age 7:

“And then…” Natasha waits for the appropriate amount of time, waiting for when Peter starts squirming in his seat. “I broke his arm in three places with a flick of my fingers.”

Peter’s eyes widen in shock,” but he was your friend!” 

Nat shrugs, using the tip of her knife to dull the tips of her fingernails. She looks back up at Tony’s boy,” well, we still are. I’m the GodMother to his children.”

All afternoon Natasha had been entertaining Peter with stories of her adventures, making sure to leave out details that would only worry his little mind. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, it really felt nice to have a niche of people to talk and hang around with. 

Surely, Pepper and Rhodey had been wary of her. She’s a deadly assassin living with Tony and Peter. Neither of which could protect themselves if she wanted to hurt them. Tony is stronger than he has been in a while but Max and the heart pills are a clear enough indication that he could be stronger. Peter still, hardly, comes to Tony’s chest in height. The boy is as thin as a rod. 

She’d never hurt them anyways. Their little habits had made her fall for them. 

The first morning she watched Tony crawl out of bed, two hours after he’d finally went to bed, to wake Peter with a homemade breakfast and goofing around in the living room. He’d even made her plate before he left to take Peter to school. 

Then to watch Tony suffer all day, to rub at his chest and weakly shuffle about, only to come back to life the second Peter comes back home, how could anyone want to hurt these two? She could think of a few sick souls and to herself, she vowed that as long as she was around no one would hurt them again.

And Obediah Stane had better thank whatever higher power there might be because if he was still alive Natasha Romanoff would be coming for him and then he’d wish he was dead. 

“Aunt Nat?” Peter is standing on the counters, his little socked toes hanging over the edge as he concentration on his balance. No doubt his little experiment on balance would have Tony’s poor heart skipping beats and no doubt on the edge of triggering one of his attacks. Natasha just watches with a careful eye, not worried just yet. Peter has a spectacular balance. 

She hums and looks up from his legs to his baby fat stilled cheeks,” yes my little spider?” She’d taken to nicknames with Peter, he’s just the kind of child who seems to open up so many possibilities. 

Peter glances up in the general direction of Tony’s room before lifting himself up on his tiptoes and lifting his right leg off of the counter. “Are spiders really the bestest?”

Natasha watches him, wondering how it that someone like Tony creates someone like Peter. And she means nothing by it, it’s just that Tony is sociable after a few drinks and is a clever kind of social. He’s all soft blows and sexual innuendos. Peter is clever, cunning. 

It makes sense. The two of them. She quite likes it. 

“Truly. Did you know that the reason Black Widows are called Widows is because when they pick a mate, they get pregnant, and then kill the male?” She flicks her knife closed,” and the brown recluse spider causes red blood cells to burst when it bites people. They can cause Kidney failure.”

Peter drops from the counter, landing on the tips of his toes like Nat had shown him,” Woah.”

Nat nods.

“Woah what?” Tony walks into the kitchen, left arm cradled against his chest.

Peter stands right under Tony’s feet, nearly getting himself stepped on when Tony moves away from the coffee pot. “She told me that some spiders can bite you and cause kidney damage and kill you!”

Tony recoils, pulling his lips back. He shoots a half-hearted grimaces at Natasha,” Nat, that’s disgusting. He’s a baby.”

“I’m seven!”

 

 

Age 8:

“Uh,” Tony holds he Valentine's candy box to the light. “Dinosaurs or these little heart things with the-the,” he shows it to Peter unsure of what the cartoon is supposed to be.

“That’s Spongebob, dad.”

Tony nods,” right. Which do you want?” He looks at the boxes,” we really could get both if you wanted but you don’t need of this. You don’t even have twenty kids in your class and the boxes have thirty.”

Tony turns the box over, feeling old as he squints to see the small print. “Hey, this one-” he looks down and there is no Peter watching him curiously. There’s no Peter at all. “Pete? Pe-” He turns around and finds his son. 

Peter is standing in the middle of the aisle, staring stubbornly at a stuffed monkey above his head that’s holding a box full of candies.

“Whatcha looking at, bud?” Tony puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder not expecting his son to shrug his hand off.

“What’s with you today?” Tony asks,” you wouldn’t talk to me in the car. You got mad when I picked you up at school. Now, this. What’s going through that head of yours?”

Peter glances at him and then to his shoes. “There’s this girl at school…”

Tony tries to hide his smile.

“Flash, he said that I was being silly but I think she likes me too. She’s really pretty…” Peter’s cheeks heat up.

Tony reaches up and pulls the monkey down,” so we’re getting this and Spongebob cards?”

Peter looks up at Tony amazed that the man who embarrasses him every chance he gets is suddenly nonchalant about the single most easy thing Peter has ever done that he could pick on. “Dad-”

Tony throws him a playful smirk,” what kid? You want the damn monkey or not?”

Peter smiles and lowers his head and nods. This time when Tony puts his hand on Peter’s shoulder Peter leans into him. 

“Alright, come on. We’ve got to get some chocolate for Pepper and Nat.”

 

 

Age 9:

“Well, if it isn't Daddy’s little super soldier.”

If Tony had the time to unlock all of the ways that that sentence was inappropriate and frankly weird, he would certainly give them all a piece of his mind. But he’s sitting in a bank with four other kids exactly like Peter and their parents. 

So for now, he’ll leave the comment alone. No need to draw any more attention to his eight-year-old wearing Captain America pajamas at a bank.

“I wouldn’t,” Tony says nodding towards his son held in the too tight grip of the mad man currently trying to rob a bank. Honestly, who robs banks anymore? You’re not going to get away. 

He gets to his feet, ignoring the other gunmen yelling at him. “I love my kid to pieces but he’s an annoying little shit and he never stops talking.”

The man doesn’t lower his gun and Tony doesn’t expect him to. Talking is just the perfect distraction.

“His nose is runny, he’s got a cold. He’ll make any car ride twice as long. He’s an adorable kid, don’t get me wrong.” Tony doesn’t tear his eyes away from Peter, watching his son tremble in the man’s hold. Not even when a gun is leveled at his head and he’s ordered to sit back down unless he wants his genius brains painting the marble floors. 

Tony smiles uneasily when Peter whimpers for him.

“He’s only nine,” a gun smacks the back of his head and crumbles to his knees but he keeps his eyes on Peter. He knows his son. He knows that the minute that he can’t be strong for Peter everything will go to shit.

_“Sir, ETA is one minute.”_

Jarvis buzzes in his ear and his heart picks up a flutter. His fingers are numb and he tries to steady himself enough to not freak out. It’s going to be fine. Peter will be fine. The suit will fly in. 

“H-He’s only nine,” there are tears in his eyes and he keeps thinking back to the last time he told Peter that he loves him. “He’s all that I’ve got.” He laughs at the pure irony of it all. “I-I’m a billionaire, a genius, and if you-if you hurt that little boy…” He stands on uneasy feet, unsure of what’s going to happen next.

“Daddy?”

The glass around them shatters and in shoots Iron Man suits that haven’t been in use in months. 

One of them smacks into his back and he’s only half aware of the gunshots filling in the air as he runs, half-armed in a suit, to his son. Jarvis already knows where he needs to be and there are two suits deployed towards Peter.

One disarming and pushing the armed man away from and the other wrapping around Peter becoming small enough to cover him. 

It all happens suddenly, he’s holding his sick, scared child in his arms. He’s safe and that’s how he’s supposed to be. 

 

 

Age 13:

“Happy Birthday, Pete!”

Pepper and Tony had a fight the night before, Peter heard. 

Nat’s out of town. 

His father looks worn down, exhausted, and if Peter didn’t know for a fact that his father had taken the strict promise to remain sober until he died, he’d think a little tipsy too.

Peter smiles at his dad, trying not to think too much about how long it took his father to make the cake sitting before him. Or what panic attack a gift like this might have caused. 

“Get out of your head, kid.” His father pushes his head but smiles and hands Peter a spoon. Tony sits down beside Peter and takes a spoonful of the cake. 

Peter does too. It doesn’t taste right, rather awful, truthfully but he swallows the mouthful. He goes in for another bite, preferring to suffer rather than be the cause of a panic attack because Peter knows what will happen if Tony knows it’s bad.

His father is Italian. He can cook mean pasta, he’d tell Peter about how his mother taught him to cook. She just never taught him how to cook desserts. 

“Oh no, Pete,” his father swats the spoon away from Peter’s mouth. “Don’t eat that! It tastes awful.” Tony blows air out fo his mouth and looks around the kitchen.

Peter doesn't see panic written anywhere on his father’s face. His hands are still by his side, his body is unmoving as he thinks. But no panic.

“Get a coat, we’re going out.”

Peter doesn’t get up. He just sits in his checkered pajama bottoms and stairs shocked at his, obviously, sleep-deprived dad. 

“Pete?”

He doesn't want to go out. “Dad?”

Tony’s body falls. His shoulders slump and his fake smile with it. “Dammit, I’m sorry. Kid, I-I… Pepper was going to make the cake. I messed up. Fuck! I ruined your birthday, I can’t even-why-” his breathing starts to pick up and Peter jumps out of his chair to rush to Tony’s side. 

“Dad! Dad,” he hugs his father, putting his head over the reactor in his father’s chest. “You didn’t ruin my birthday. I just don’t want to go out.” He searches his brain for something that he does actually want to do. “C-Can we just stay home? I just want to lay around and watch Star Wars. Maybe get the strawberry pop tarts out?”

Tony’s ragged breathing takes a moment to calm again. 

“Pete?” 

They’d managed to slide to the floor and guilt was beginning to eat him away. He’d ruined his kid’s birthday and now he’s being selfish. 

Peter is almost asleep against Tony and he’s not worried in the least about his birthday. “Hmm?” His pillow is moving around and Peter holds on to his father tighter, hoping to stop him from moving. 

“Am I… Am I a bad dad?” Tony puts his hand on Peter’s head. 

Peter shakes his head. “Course not,” he yawns and buries it into Tony’s chest. “You make good pasta and you put those putty stars on my ceiling.” Peter smiles, now a little bit more awake,” and you’re gonna let me watch Star Wars and eat as many Strawberry pop tarts as I physically can.”

Tony shakes his head,” something tells me that the pop tart eating in this house would reflect that I’m more of a bad dad than a good one, Pete.”

Peter moves, sitting up and yawning. “Nuh-uh. I eat Strawberry, Blueberry, smore, and Fudge Sunday. You make me broaden my horizons, that’s good parenting. Remember? That was in one of your parenting books?”

Peter smiles at Tony with a crooked grin and Tony smiles back. 

“I love you, Peter.”

Peter dodges Tony’s attempted kiss to his temple and jumps to his feet, headed for the living room. “Come on, Dad! We’ve gotta start now!”

Tony pulls himself off the floor and follows his over-eager to the living room. 

“Dad, you’re gonna miss it!”

 

 

Age 14:

The world needs rebels, it breeds them, and yet the world is cruel to them. 

Tony told him that and he thinks about it a lot. Sometimes, when he’s laying on his back and looking up at the stars on his ceiling, his father gone, he thinks about it. 

He wants to reach the real stars. Feel the wind in his hair. But, he’s afraid of the fall. He’s not like his father. He can’t build a suit in a desert. He can’t even wield with his father’s guidance. He’s not got what it takes.

The world breeds rebels but he is not one of them. And that makes him feel like he’s failed his father. His father is a rebel. He’s Iron Man, he runs Stark Industries and fights bad guys. His grandfather made Captain America. 

He can’t even make a circuit board.

 

 

Age 15:

“I'm going to meet the Avengers!” 

Ned, who was picking at the churro his mother packed, looks up quickly. Shooting Peter a confused but very excited face. “What!”

Peter nods, almost shoving his entire peanut butter sandwich into his mouth at once. He hesitantly slides his other to Ned,” yep. Dad is meeting with them later. He says they're here. All of them.” 

Peter sighs and moves the rest of his food around,” but he won't say who they're fighting.”

Ned face falls,” oh.” 

They'd been friends long enough for Ned to pick up on Peter's worry. He's also been around long enough to know that Tony doesn't keep secrets from Peter… unless it's really bad. 

“Yeah.”

“Well… is Nat still around?”

Peter shakes his head. “No… She won't even answer my calls.”

“Oh.” 

That can't be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think in the next chapter I'm going to let Peter be bitten by the spider and then have New York. It will be in the same chapter. I'll open with Peter getting bitten and close with Tony falling out of the wormhole in New York


	20. The Avengers

He’s been home alone for a week. His dad left two Wednesdays ago. Pepper left last Thursday. He ate the food that Pepper left. He’s been living off of Peanut Butter and Jellies and coffee. Luckily, his father did teach him how to make both of those things.

He can handle three PB&Js a day. His problem is he’s got a crazy rash going up from his wrist to his elbow. It’s itchy. Super itchy and it’s caused by a green spider that bit his freaking hand. 

He’s got homework, though, so he tries to focus. 

Max lays across his feet, whining like he often does when Tony does something to set off his heart. Although, Max yawns and settles down.

The TV plays in the background, it creates background noise that helps Peter focus. Slightly louder than the music JARVIS plays Metallica and variations of his father’s music. His arms tremble because the room is too cold but he won’t fall asleep if he’s this cold. That or it’s his fourth cup of coffee finally starting to kick in… it’s really hard to tell right now.

The music cuts back and JARVIS’ voice breaks through the speakers,” Peter the blood sample filled under the name ‘Not Peter’s’ has been logged and monitored. Although, there seem to be foreign bodies in the blood sampling that matches your blood type.”

Peter tries not to panic.

“Peter, where would you like the sample to be sent?”

He pushes himself away from the kitchen table. His work is everywhere, papers, binders, and pencils. He’s still got tons to do.

“Keep it in the garage, JARV. I’m coming down.” 

It happened on Friday. He was on a field trip that his dad probably would have hated had he been home. So, instead, he forged his father’s signature and went. His father will never know. At least, he shouldn’t have. Now, Peter might actually have to tell him. 

\------------------------

“Come on, Peter.” Ned bumps his shoulder, possibly harder than need be but it grounds Peter to the moment. He stops thinking about his father, the Avengers, and the Chemistry homework burning holes in his backpack. “Losen up. We’re going to OsCorp. We’re going to meet someone almost as rich and cool as your dad!”

Peter doesn’t laugh but he offers Ned a small smile. 

It’s enough. 

“Welcome to OsCorp!” There’s a happy looking redhead greets them before they can get into the building. Her pencil skirt bores Peter out of his mind and he wonders if something like that is genetic. Because he’s only ever heard his father comment on how boring a pencil skirt is. 

She guides them into the building. It’s all white. Which is super lame. White tiles that seem to go on for ages and not to mention he feels like the whole ‘break your mother’s back’ thing could be true. He finds himself avoiding the slightly out of color borders around each tile. 

The redhead starts talking and Peter only feels a little bad about not catching her name but somehow her tone is boringly optimistic. Peter’s never heard anyone do that before. 

Needless to say, the day was boring. They got sent through the company where they couldn’t even see the labs. That’s all that he wanted to see. The only labs he’d ever been in were his father’s and the crappy ones at the school. 

Until… he saw the glowing.

“Ach! AHhhH! Fuck!” He’d been bitten by a spider before but _this_ felt nothing like _that_. “Ow, ow, ow, ow!” The spider is freaking glowing. Should it be glowing?! “Oh no, oh fuck. This isn’t good. Oh my God. Dad’s going to kill me.”

And then he passed out. 

\------------------------

“Hey JARVIS?” Peter picks at his face, either a pimple or just a bump. He can’t really tell. Nervously he watches the screens, sighing his fingers pull back from his face with blood. “Uh…”

“Peter, there is an alert. I suggest you watch the news.”

His words of disagreement die in his throat. A streak of red is launching itself straight into a giant black hole in the sky. “J-Jarvis?” The reporter isn’t sure what he’s seeing, he makes that much certain when he starts nervously filling them in on the rest of the Avengers.

“We have a man down,” he says, a hand cupped to his ear. There’s a nervous flash in his eyes and Peter's heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of his chest. “Police Officers report sights on Captain America and Hawkeye. Areal views have coverage of the Black Widow and Genius, Playboy Tony-” 

The reporters face twist and he looks down at his desk. This time when he looks up,” we have confirmed which hero has entered the wormhole.” He looks… older. It’s as if the news that just came through his earpiece is killing him. “It seems that-that Iron Man, um, took a nuclear bomb into the wormhole.”

The reporter wipes his eyes and Peter… he’d always told his father that he was his hero. Captain America is cool and all but Cap has never lifted Peter way up in the sky and spun him around. He’s never even said hi to Peter. 

“Today, the world will mourn the loss of-” the reporter looks into the camera, before only just glancing. The guilt, as if it’s the reporter’s fault but also everyone else’s that Iron Man shot himself into a hole. 

Viewers share the guilt. They look back at the reporter, stunned in the same guilty silence. 

Peter feels nothing but cold. He’s still cold. They show the clip again, just red streaks but they all know now. 

“Wait! Wait!” The clip disappears and life seems to be returned to the reporter only… a part of Peter already thinks its false hope. “We’ve got live footage-” the camera is off of him in a flash. Together, millions of people watch as Iron Man falls. He’s not flying. Peter knows what the suit in action looks like-

“Jarvis? Jarvis, the-the Arc Rea-”

Max whines at the TV.

“Peter, Miss Romanoff has requested that you meet them in the Med Bay. I do regret to inform you that this so supposed live footage is five minutes behind.”

Peter can’t tear his eyes away. He watches, hardly visible Avengers running towards the fallen red figure. The worst part, the thing that hurts the worst is amongst the red, the rubble, and the green of the Hulk… there is no blue. There is no glow from the reactor. 

“Peter, Miss Romonaff has requested, again, that-”

“I-I’m coming!” 

He turns his back on the TV, forcing himself to walk out of the room. He’s halfway up the staircase when he remembers the vials of blood sitting on his father’s desk. The vials of blood with his weird ass blood in them. 

Doubling back faster than he’s ever run before, he takes the vials and shoves them into the bottom drawer of his father’s desk. He knows it’s the only safe place to dispose of anything. He knows this because Tony hides all of Pepper’s weird nutrition drinks that she tries to force him to drink. He’s safe to keep the blood here for another two weeks. 

 

 

“Peter, you can’t be back here.” 

He leans around Nat and watches as Max wanders straight through the bodies standing in his way. “Why not?” He tries to move past Natasha but she puts a solid hand against his chest. 

For a second, Peter thinks Nat might go ‘crazy Nat’ on him. Post Traumatic Stress can happen to everyone and it’s very dangerous when it happens to a world-class spy. He can’t count on his fingers how many times he has accidentally come into a room to silent and ended up pinned to the floor or couch. 

He really has to work on that. He’ll end up giving his father a heart attack. 

“Peter-” 

Nat turns for a second and he just slips right past her. Therefore, she wasn’t even trying to begin with.

Peter goes into the room, nearly tripping over some guy in a purple- “Holy shit, no way!” Peter looks around the room, his heroes all there. “You’re Hawkeye,” he points to the man with blonde hair and long legs. “You’re the-”

“The Hulk-”

“No!” Peter is grinning out of his mind,” You’re like the coolest biochemist to-to live! You’re Dr. Bruce Banner! You have like eight PhDs. You’re the coolest.”

Bruce looks down at his feet, a red blush creeping up the back of his neck. “Uh, thanks. I-It’s only seven though. I only have seven.”

The correction only seems to get Peter going more. They all watch as Peter’s eyes widen as he tracks his way up Thor’s body. “Woah, I have no clue who you are but you’re ginormous.” Peter doesn’t let that stop him. “And you,” Peter looks at Steve,” you’re Captain America.” 

A weak cough comes from behind them,” Pete? Buddy, what the hell are you doing in here?” Tony is in the doorway, hooked up to a IV, and sitting in a wheelchair. Max stands up and wanders over to Tony, placing his head on Tony’s knee.

“Is this your kid, Stark?” 

Tony looks up from scratching Max’s ears and nods,” yeah. He’s a handful. I take it he’s interrogated you all?”

Peter blushes and thinks about the spider bite on his arm. Then about the questionnaire sheet, he made in second grade for the Avengers. He’d forgotten about that, how did his father remember. 

Captain America smiles at Peter,” uh, no. A bit of admiration but he didn’t interrogate.” 

Peter blushes even harder. 

Cap smiles at both of them before leading the others out of the room. Bruce waves as Peter, Hawkeye smirks, and Nat winks at him from the door. 

“Goodbye, Cap.”

“Yeah! Bye Captian America!”

Peter watches as Nat leads the Avengers out. 

“Hey, bud?” Tony clears his throat and smiles at Max. The dog rests his head on his crossed paws. “I’ve got to stay a while… I-I called Happy, he can come around in about an hour-”

 

Peter shakes his head,” Dad, I have to-”

“You have school, Pete.” Tony sighs and Max stands up nudges Tony with his hand. It’s all he needs to say. Tony needs to take his medicine. 

Peter frowns, digging his shoes into the floor. “Dad, please, don’t make me go. I can skip school, my homework is done, and it’s only Saturday.” 

Max pushes on his hand again and Tony can feel his heart beating irregularly. 

“Dad?”

Max whines and lets out a small bark.

Peter nods as if Max somehow understands. “Here we go!” He uses all of his weight, pulling Tony backward with mostly his own weight, and pushing him as quickly as he can down the hall. “Max, pills!” 

He doesn’t really need to tell Max as he’s already down the hall. 

Luckily, Max is a lot faster. Peter has no idea where he’s going. Max does.

“Good boy, Max!”

Peter sticks his tongue out, eyebrows tight… he can’t get the stupid- “ah-ha!”

Peter smiles at his father, watching him struggle to get the pills to his lips. Max nudges Tony's hand, helping him get his hand higher faster. 

"Pete?"

Peter looks up, his eyes had wandered from their place where he had begun to think about the Arc Reactor flickering out or the spider bite on his arm.

"Pete."

He inhales quickly," uh... yeah? I-I'm listening."

"You can stay, Pete."

"Really! Cool! We're gonna have a lot of fun. I'm gonna-"

"Pete. Pete!" Tony feels only a little bad about shouting," bud, please. I have a headache. Why don't we go to the room? We can watch-"

"Star Wars!"

"Yeah, star wars."

"Cooool!"


	21. Spider

Peter watches his father sleep. Insomnia, night terrors, and too many coffees. He’s not winding down anytime soon and Tony needs sleep as much as he can until he gets woken by nightmares again. So, he sits in the chair plush chair that Tony usual throws his sweatshirts and jackets over. He watches the steady rise and fall of Tony’s chest.

Max doesn’t like it but he’s got other priorities. Namely, remaining seated over Tony’s pelvis, applying pressure to keep him calm in his sleep. 

Something, that it turns out, Pepper couldn’t do. In the weeks after New York, after the hospital, Pepper and Tony got together. Peter knows, not because he was told but because he could see the shift in the two of them. 

Suddenly, they went from briefly touching to laughing together in the kitchen and talking softly long into the night.

Peter could never be upset about it. He knows things now…

A sharp inhale comes from the bed and Max moves to rest his head on Tony’s chest. For a moment, that does the trick. Peter watches as his father sinks back into a comfortable sleep but just as soon as he calms his hands’ grip tight on the bedsheet beneath him and Peter raises out of the chair. He nears the bed and Max looks sadly up at him. 

He puts a hand on his father’s shoulder, already ready to jump out of the way of flailing limbs if his father comes too violent. “Dad?” Max whines but stays where he is. “Dad, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

Tony comes to like he usually does and that’s why he’s sleeping alone instead of with his pretty, smart, red-headed lover. 

Peter deflects Tony’s hand with ease, the unhealed bite on his arm itching when he does, and forces both of his father’s arms to come across his chest. Peter holds Tony’s arms by his wrist and keeps him pinned there until only weary desperation is left in his father’s eyes.

Breathlessly, Tony asks him,” did I wake you up?”

Peter shakes his head and watches Max as Tony sits up and pulls his sweat-soaked t-shirt off over his head. “No, I was already up. Insomnia is genetic, figured Bruce would have talked to you about that by now.”

Tony huffs and winces at the tug it produces on his still healing wounds. Wounds that Peter thinks won’t ever heal if Captain Douchebag keeps calling his father out on missions every other day. That guy was the reason people say to never meet your heroes.

“No, actually, Bruce and I spend most of our time talking about his… other side.” Tony reappears into Peter’s line of vision with a clean shirt and a soft smile. “You, too. I’ve recently come to learn that he’s not a psychologist and here I thought he could do it all.”

Tony lets out a short breath and eases himself back onto his mattress, patting the bedding beside him for Peter to sit. Peter does sit. After a short moment, he lets himself fall back into the bedding. The soft blankets swallowing him up and making him want to close his eyes and fall asleep.

Before he can, Tony joins him in a much slower and controlled descent. Peter wills his eyes open and blinks to keep himself awake. His eyes seem impossibly heavy and he wishes one of them would just say something but it never comes. So he lets his eyes slip shut.

Tony looks at the ceiling, at the shining blue light in his chest, and his son. He’s messed up a lot. He can’t, really, take any of it back and that scares him. It’s too late. He’s ruined his kid's life. He spent 3 months in the desert, dying and then he came back but… he’s a mess and he should be over it but he still wakes up with sand under his hands and water in his lungs. Peter’s always understanding. He shouldn’t be.

“Hey, Pete?” He turns his head to find his son fast asleep. Max, however, look at him. Tony settles back down where he was, “Happy Birthday, bud.”

\------------

“You know-”

Peter smiles, shoveling another bite of cereal into his mouth,” I know, dad. You wouldn’t leave if you had to but the world’s in danger.” He smiles at his father,” get lost old man, the world needs you.” 

Tony let’s out a long breath and nods. He chugs as much of his fresh coffee as he can before grunting at the hot liquids assault on his throat. He puts the rest of the mug in front of Peter and kisses the boys head of curls. “Be good.”

Peter rolls his eyes but feels immediately guilty,” yeah, whatever.” As soon as Tony leaves, he can hear the hissing and cussing as he gets suited and the final rush of wind as he takes off, Peter stands. He’s sixteen. He’s got a responsibility like a world across his shoulders. His father has a brain like no one else and he fights for the world so… Shouldn’t Peter?

“Peter?” JARVIS interrupts Peter’s broken internal monologue. “I do not advise this.”

Peter nods, thinking me too, but he continues putting on the suit he’s made out of pajamas. He’s tucked it under his old Captain America suit. If only his father had known that silly costume would lead him here. What would they have done? Would Nat have trained him? Would his father have trained him? 

“However, there are knee pads and a helmet downstairs.” Ever the protective grandfather JARVIS seems put out by Peter’s antics. “Please, use them.”

He wears the gear to please Jarvis and hopes for the best.

Standing along a New York ledge he wishes he hadn't. He looks like a moron and almost three blocks away his father is fighting some dumb looking robot in a million dollar suit. He's going to have to do some work on this uniform.

“CAP!”

Before he even considers how dumb his plan is, he’s running across the tops of buildings. His eyes stuck on the flying Captain America. The Robot had grabbed the hero when he wasn’t paying attention and know he’s letting go of Caps leg and the hero goes flying. Peter gets where he needs to be just well enough to jump. He launches himself off the side of the building. Webs that he’s testing minimally, going two ways.

He can his father and the other Avengers shouting in confusion but he focuses his attention on willing the webbing to stick. Just as the web he launched at the building sticks the one he shot at Cap’s falling body reaches him. Both of his shoulders tug in opposite sides.

Just as he starts to swing dangerously towards a building he lets the web go and leads them to the ground. The mask covers his face but he can’t shouting in triumph. “Yeah! Heck Yeah! I did it!”

He gets to the ground and salutes Cap, absolutely beaming until he turns around and finds himself chest to chest with- 

“Where did you come from, kid?” The Iron Man mask slips off and Peter is looking straight at his father. But, he’s not mad so he doesn’t know. 

Peter just shakes his head. He’s not dumb-

He tries to move around his father but he trips over his own feet and when Tony reaches out to get him he grabs the suit and they all hear the material rip. Peter lands hard on the ground and he closes his eyes, keeping his head hidden with his hair and turned his head. He holds his breath. 

“Pete?” He can hear the sadness in his father’s tone. The desperation that he’s hoping he’s mistaken someone else for Peter. Peter wishes he was right. “Not you, Pete.” The tears in Tony's eyes don't mask the anger flaring in his eyes. The anger that makes Peter's arms tremble. “Peter…”

Peter stands slowly, his legs like jelly at the sight of his masks held so tight in his father's grip. The material is like paper in between his father’s fingers. He feels like a kid again being told that his dad isn’t coming home. This time, it’s his fault. “Dad, I'm-”

Tony throws the mask to the side,” you could've been hurt, Peter. You could have died!”

Hot tears sting his eyes and he can’t stand to look at his father anymore. “I-I just wanted to be like you,” the words leave his mouth and he realizes how right they are. This whole crusade of his, the spider bite, the idolization of Captain America, all of the supersuits he’s worn over the years. He’s only ever wanted one thing.

“No,” the masks slide down between them and Peter lets the tears fall. “You’ve always been better than that. Go home. Walk, I don’t care. You’re grounded. Go home. Go to bed. I don’t want to talk to you.” Peter doesn’t have to see his father’s face to know he’s crying. “And throw that stupid thing away.” 

He’s gone before Peter can even nod.


	22. For Tell College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Peter come to terms with their predicament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what to do with the next chapter? I'm thinking either Iron Man 3 plot
> 
> Thoughts?

They 'miss’ each other in the halls. At night, Peter's in bed at night and when he hears Tony's breathless screams somewhere around 2, he turns over in his bed until the screams turn into sobs and the night turns old. In the garage, Dum-E sides with Peter. The lab becomes a maze. Tony isn't in it in the early hours. Peter works then.

He's got ideas for a suit, it's coming along nicely. Every morning from 5-8 he works on it. On some days he notices that someone has to have messed with it. His notes will be scattered, an idea added to his list, a suggestion even. 

On the third week of this limbo, he sees the liquor sitting out on the dock. It's staring at him and he knows it's there because of him. He's going to kill his father and all because of some dumb idea to put on a suit because he got bit by some radioactive spider. 

So, he takes it. He's not sure what comes over him. He just walks over, wasting perfectly good lab time, and takes it. 

The next day, there's more. So, he does it again.

Every day for the next week there's more and everyday he grows a little more frantic. He shouldn't have put on that stupid suit. He should have just stayed a normal kid. He should be living with his mother. Then none of this would be happening. 

“Jarvis!” Tony has done just as much avoiding as Peter. He can feel his body pushing him to the edge of a breakdown and he knows all it's going to take it seeing Peter. So he avoids the kid. His kid. His brilliant kid.

He watches the progress Peter makes on his own suit day by day. He's faster than Tony was and better from the looks of it. Then again, Peter's got the literal world at his fingertips. He had a couple of boxes of scraps. 

He started having nightmares about Peter being in Afghanistan. The fear came back and suddenly he needed a glass of something strong to put him to bed. By the end of the first week, he swallows a sleeping pill and downs a glass of scotch. 

“Jarvis, who the hell is moving my booze? Is it Pepper-" the answer comes to him and he stops in the hall. He's frustrated and empty. "It's Peter, isn't it?"

Jarvis seems just as tired as Tony. "Yes, sir. I'm afraid young Peter was simply looking out for you." 

Tony sighs, shakey and full of anxiety. He has to go talk to Peter, he can’t… He's acting like his father and he knows and it’s why he can’t sleep at night. Yet, every time he comes close to going and sitting down with Peter his heart just… Max always comes through. He finds him in the hall wherever he’s settled to try and breath his way out of a heart attack or an anxiety attack, whichever it is. 

He can’t keep doing this.

 

“Peter,” Tony sits down on the edge of the bed, his heart pounding in his chest and Max nudging his hand. Ignoring the protest his slow descent puts on his knees, he takes his time settling on the bed. “There are things that have happened to me because of who I am because of things I decided to do.” Tony looks down, to the ground. “I've been totally helpless so many times and-and…”

“I know about my mom.” Peter is sitting at his desk in his room, his legs drawn up to his chest, his head resting on them.

Tony looks up and is surprised by Peter's crimson tipped ears. Words escape him. Too much is happening in his head and he's not sure what he needs to say. "Y-Y…"

"I know… what she did… to you." Peter can't look him in the eyes and thank God for that because Tony doesn't want to look at his son while the thoughts of his questionable rape come to mind. Obadiah told him to get over it. Maybe if he didn't sleep around so much he'd believe Tony but Tony never turned away from sex so… obviously, it was his fault. Right?

Tony nods, memories shaking loose. "Pete… that doesn't matter. What she did… You're still the best thing that ever happened to me.” Tony holds his hands together, trying to ease the trembling in his left hand. Max hops onto the bed and puts his head in Tony’s lap. He buries his hands in Max’s fur focusing on the coarse feeling to soothe his nerve.

Peter is looking at him, he can feel his eyes boring holes into him. “That means you’re not mad about…?” There’s an edge to Peter’s voice, something close to humor, and Tony tries to replicate it but it gets caught in his throat. He manages a half laugh before tears sting his eyes and he shakes his head. 

His breathing is becoming too erratic and he puts his head against Max, his back burning as he stretches, his head almost in his lap. “Pete…”

Peter is up in a flash, his overwhelming hearing is picking up on his father’s heartbeat and it hurts. It hurts to know that his father’s health is this bad and it hurts to have to hear each sickly beat played out for him. “Dad,” he pulls Tony away from Max, the dog whining and moving closer still, and against him. He races to remember what Rhodey had taught him but he can’t think. “Y-Y- Count! Dad, repeat after me. 123-9547.”

Tony pays him no mind for a moment but his brain picks up on the out of order numbers. “123,” the numbers come out in a rush.

“Yeah. 123-9547.” 

 

Tony nods, forcing his lungs to take in the air with Peters. “123… 9-9547.”

“Do it again.”

Tony puffs in annoyance but at least he can breathe well enough to be agitated. “123-9547.”

“You’ll have to thank Rhodey for that." Peter reaches out and scratches Max, smiling when the dog relaxes and settles down too. Simply watching Tony and Peter rather than whine and worry. "He taught me a few months ago, I nearly forgot about it."

Tony shakes his head, managing to get a good look at Peter for the first time in a while. He’s no longer the little five-year-old stuck to his leg and trampling around the house in Captain America pajamas. He’s three years away from being an adult and he’s already got such a level head. How did he raise this kid? It’s like no time at all passed. “Do we need to have the nuts and bolts talk?”

Peter jerks up,” what?”

“Uh,” Tony shakes his head, he hadn’t meant nuts and bolts. “You know… sex. You do-”

“No!” Peter attempts to move away but Max and Tony make that nearly impossible as they have managed to become entangled in one another's arms and legs. “Nope. I get it. Please do not try to give me the sex talk while the _Avengers_ are just down the hall. Captain America could hear us.”

Tony shakes his head feeling a little down at the mention of America’s golden boy. “Don’t want your hero hearing you get the old birds and the bees speel?”

Peter looks at Tony for a moment before focusing his attention on petting Max,” uh… He hasn’t been my hero for a long time, dad.”

Tony raises his eyebrows, it’s the first he’s heard of this news. “Oh? Is it Nat now? She did let you climb on the counters. It’s understandable.” He fidgets with his fingers, shooting a glance at Peter out of the corner of his eyes,” or is it Hawkeye? He showed you that hide-away in the vents.”

Peter rolls his eyes and Tony smiles, fighting the slight let down of the entire situation. Tony clears his throat, gaining enough control to put the conversation back on to the path where intended it to be. “Pete,” he looks at his son, right into the matching brown eyes of his own,” I want you to know that I wasn’t… I have never been disappointed in you. Ever. When I saw you...“ Tony clears his throat and moves so that he can put an arm on Peter’s shoulder, grounding them both. “I was mad, Peter, because I know what putting on a suit does to people. It-”

Peter tries to blink away his tears, feeling like a child for crying over something so seemingly silly. “I was just trying to be like you.”

Tony scoffs and Peter looks up tears rolling down his eyes but anger flushes in his cheeks.

“That’s not funny-”

Tony shakes his head,” no. No, you’re completely right, it’s not. It’s just… Rhodey told me some time ago that you’d say something like that. I just always thought… I don’t know, I guess, that Captain America would lead you the right way.” He rubs at the back of his neck and smirks with tight lips. 

Peter’s anger is mixed with confusion now. “Why would Captain America steer me right? I mean, I know what that guy wears to bed. He told me his favorite movies. He’s embarrassed me in front of my friends, the whole hero thing wore off a long time ago. He hasn’t been my hero since I was… five or six.”

Now Tony’s confused,” uh, then how come I had to buy you Captain America pajamas every year for Christmas until you were ten?”

Peter blushes at that,” you can’t tell anyone about that.” He looks down at his floor, thinking about his pair of Captain America pajamas. He’d thrown up on them. It’s a faint memory but he also remembers feeling safe that night. “I just wanted to be like you. I wanted to save the world in a tin can too, dad. I mean, even before then, I wanted to be just like you. I wanted ACDC shirts and I wanted to listen to Metallica and Black Sabbath way too loud in the garage but Pepper said I was too little.” He blushes and rubs anxiously at his neck,” so I’ve been learning my alphabet in school and watching you go off. I read until I was above my class and then I thought I lost you so I excelled in math. Then you came back in a metal suit and I decided I’d have a suit too. So then I got my chance and…”

Tony feels guilt again. He’s been a shit dad. 

“You told me I could do better but how was I supposed to do better than my hero? You’re perfect and here you’re telling me that I can do better? Dad, I don’t even understand basic calculus.” Peter hates himself for the pitiful tears that come down his face but there’s such a relief that comes with finally being able to say this. “It’s been an awful month for me. Then I get bit by some big ass spider and I can stick to walls? I’m finally a hero just like you and you tell me to go away. To go home. To throw away the suit I have been building with scraps for two-three months now? I-”

The last half of what Peter says comes out in a rush and Tony does a double take,” wait a damn second.” Peter stops mouth half open. “You got bitten by a spider that makes you stick to walls.”

Peter nods slowly,” y-yeah.”

Tony nods his head back,” yeah. Yeah, okay, you’re grounded. You’re grounded for-tell college. A spider-”

“For tell college?” Peter asks, hinting the slight inflection in Tony’s tone just enough to tell he’s joking through his stress.

Tony can’t hide his smirk as he nods,” yes, Peter, for tell college.” Tony sighs and rubs his hands down his face,” holy shit, kid, you’re a mess. You’re gonna give me a heart attack or make me grown grey before I’m forty.”

Peter makes a face,” you’re forty-two.”

Tony stops, hand half down his face. “Oh, you’re definitely grounded for tell college now, mister.”

“Oh, really? For tell college. Is that like six Ph.D.’s gets you? For tell col-” Peter tries to wiggle away but Tony pins his arms to his side and Max attacks his face as Tony gets his sides.

“For tell college, Peter!”

Downstairs, Steve hushes the others, faintly picking up the sound of Peter’s laughter as Tony repeats ‘For tell college’. Steve smiles,” I’m glad they made up.”

Nat nods and fondly smiles,” me too.”


	23. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ship?  
> Pepper and Tony.  
> My favorite friendship?  
> Nat and Tony.  
> The Only Wholesome Member on the Team?  
> Peter B. Parker.  
> Hotel?  
> Trivago.

Peter wakes up later than usual. When his eyes crack open he sits in confusion for several long moments. The blinds are closed, sunlight seeping through the small gaps where he didn’t pull them fully shut the night before. One of the stray rays of light hits his alarm clock and is now aiming straight for his face. He grimaces away from the beam and tries to move up enough to see the time that the alarm is blinking at him. Red, solid numbers read out 9:30 am. Peter turns away from the clock and looks around the room. Something is off and although he can’t place it yet, he’ll figure out what it is.

Half-dressed in socks, an oversized sweatshirt, and basketball shorts (even though he’s never played a sport in his life… unless you count Decathlon) Peter hesitantly makes his ways down the stairs. The floor is chilly and it makes Peter’s mind race for an explanation of why. He makes a mental note to ask his father about anxiety. Something tells him he shouldn’t feel this much distress over floors or frankly half the things he does. 

“Are those waffles?” He has to rub some sleep from his eyes, ultimately digging the palm of his hand into his eye. He yawns when the lights hit his eyes and realize that it’s slightly too cold in the kitchen for shorts. Not that anyone else seems to agree with that. Nat and Cap are both sporting shorts.

Clint doesn't turn away from the stove at his question but Peter doesn’t really think anything of it. Nat answers his question though when she steps around Clint and forks two waffles on to two plates. “Two for you and two for you dad,” she hands him the plates and before he can move anywhere she’s handing him one of the two bottles of syrup out. “I saw him retreating to the basement earlier this morning, please, ask him to eat this.”

That’s what was missing in his room this morning, Max. Even though things can get really busy or bad around the house they follow a simple structure. Although, Tony is supposed to be the dad and makes sure Peter does basic things most of the responsibility to make sure Tony eats falls on Peter. Sometimes, Peter is the only person that can guilt trip him. So Peter makes a lot of the food but at least that way they both eat a healthy amount of good. On the flip, Tony always makes time to make sure Peter’s doing good. They’ll watch movies and hang out in the basement. It’s not ideal but it works for them.

And that means that Max has his own schedule too.

Every morning, once Tony gets up to retreat down to the basement, Max comes to lay with Peter until he gets up. Then he goes to check on Tony while Peter finds something close enough to food to call breakfast. Until lunch, unless it’s a school day, they all hang out in the garage. The only time this schedule is broken is when somethings wrong.

Peter says nothing but puts the plates down. He leaves the others in the moderate silence that he found them in. Hoping everything is fine enough that he can thank Nat later for not shouting at him for leaving two plates of waffles. He’ll also have to make it up to Clint who looked like he was making an ass-ton of waffles. God, and he’d Captain Freaking America in the kitchen without even saying hi or goodbye.

Having the Avengers in the compound didn’t really seem to be paying off near as much as his father thought it would but… it never really was about a payoff.

“Dad? Max.” Peter uses the stairs, his legs moving quickly from what he can only assume is some extra force from the spider bite. The hair on the back of his neck is standing on end and he can’t explain how it’s _wrong_ or perhaps it’s not wrong. “Shit-shit-shit-” nope, it’s wrong.

Peter trips over his feet as he stumbles to the couch on the other side of the room. Everything is wrong. Max whines when he sees Peter, nudging Tony’s hand with more force. He gives up his temporary mission and runs to Peter. “J? How long has he been like this?”

Max circles Peter,” easy, Max.” He looks around, Max had done everything they’d ever trained and practiced with him for. There are water bottles, medicine, phone, and he’d dragged the oxygen caddy over. “Good boy,” now Peter just has to do what Max couldn’t, put it all together.

“Sir managed to escape Ms. Romanoff's care at four this morning. Since then, he has spiked a fever, it sits now at 104.3, but his heart is-”

“Why isn’t the medicine working, J?” Peter presses the oxygen mask over Tony’s face, his heart thumping in his chest, and rattles the remaining pills in the container. He’s taken more than he’s supposed to but at least he’s taken some. That should buy him time but Peter has no idea how much. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Jarvis answers Peter in an annoyed tone and Peter understands,” I’m afraid that sir silenced my advances. His status never became dire enough for me to be able to override Alpha-1-2-9 and alert you or the others.”

Peter rolls his eyes, Tony must have gone back into Jarvis’ code and changed their agreement. The older code would have sent out a mass message probably hours ago. Peter can’t contain his anger,” J, call EMS. No, wait, call-”

“The other’s have been alerted with activation of the oxygen mask, per Ms. Romanoff’s request.”

Peter blows out an unsteady breath,” good.”

With the others down with him, things go quickly. Too quickly and Peter feels his steadiness slip away. Stuck or caught somewhere but Nat is right there the entire time, for both of them.

“Pack for two days, Peter.” She looks sad as she watches him stand numbly in front of his dresser just looking at clothes. “Come on,” she slides a hand over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of his head before taking his place in front of the dresser. They’ve got one suitcase on the bed, Tony’s on the floor waiting to be dragged away. Peter got through packing his father’s bag fairly easily. He knows that by the time his father is comprehensive and ready to move about he’ll need sweatpants and flannels. He won’t be able to button jeans because he won’t be able to bend over without severe pain. He won’t be able to lift his arms above his head.

“It’s never been this bad, Nat.” Peter’s lip wobbles and he wills it to hold still but tears slip down his chin like he’s nothing but a baby. It didn’t even hurt this bad when Tony- “What if he doesn’t just come home this time? What if he just gets stu-”

Nat pulls him against her, shushing him through the worst of his sobs. He can’t breathe because he keeps thinking about Afghanistan about the x-rays that show butchered lungs and half sternum, the arc reactor that sits too deep in his father’s chest, and the PTSD that fucks up his father’s brain. It’s a disaster and it never ends. Something else will come up. A cold floor that makes his father think of sand instead of tile. A panic attack that ends in respiratory distress. More poisoning. More damage. More hospitals.

“Shh,” Nat pulls Peter away from her, stroking tears and hair out of the way. “Stop whatever nonsense is running through that crazy head of yours. Your dad is going to be fine. He’s got you. He’s not going anywhere.”

Peter tries to remind himself of that while they head to the hospital. Instead, he’s worried about Max. He gets separation anxiety and Peter forgot his official paperwork so what if they don’t let Max back there? Tony’s been sleeping with that dog for years. Max and Tony can’t sleep without each other right there.

“I should call Pepper,” Peter tries to reason, stumbling out of the room as quickly as he can. Clint is right behind him, grabbing him up underneath the arms and catching him before he can fully make his way out. Before he can force his limbs away from the bow-slinger, the man lowers his head to Peter’s ear,” easy. It’s just me.” 

Clint rights him on his feet and guides him to a chair, even though his entire body is shaking to get away. “Hey, look at me, kid.” Clint gets down on his knees and Peter wonders if his dad ever gave him the updates hearing aids. Peter hadn’t seen them in the case on Tony’s desk. “Breath, you’re hyperventilating. Just chill out, Nat called Pepper already.”

Peter nods his head. Clint lets out a sigh before pushing Peter’s head between his knees,” come on, kid. I don’t do panic attacks.” Peter covers his head with his arms, trying to focus on breathing and luckily the fake tile of the floor provides the correct amount of detachment. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Peter certainly hopes he’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not really sure how to incorporate IM3 into this because most of that movie has to do with him being 'dead' and Harley so... How about you guys tell me what you'd like to see from the movie in this next fic. I'd also like to add in like some of the major downsides of the arc reactor. Like in this fic the fact that his heart and lungs are weak and that makes him susceptible to the flu or pneumonia. Someone come up with some sort of idea or... idk


	24. Breathe

Tony spends three days in the hospital more out than in, struggling with congestion and mandatory nebulizer treatments. He only has one attack, this one of the anxiety kind and not panic. It had been a particularly rough day and no one had enough sleep. Peter talked him through it, effectively reminding him that in order for the oxygen canal to do its job he had to breath through his nose. 

Steve watches it happen and is thrown back to the 1920s. This sort of thing was called Shell Shock, anything that had anything to do with panicking or sickness that came from someone who had fought in the war. Shell Shock. Tony shouldn’t have it, there hasn’t been in any wars like the ones he fought. 

Peter tries to help Steve understand but it seems more like the boy has just as much of a clue as he does. Still, Peter amazes Steve even more than Tony amazes him. They’re brilliant and quick, Steve can tell Peter hasn’t even managed to tap into all of what he can do and yet he’s already smarter than all of them. Still, he can see this ‘Stark’ burden that the two of them carry. He wishes that they both could understand their self-worth.

“Can you stick to walls?” They ‘let’ Tony out on the third day, an hour before visiting hours were over. He’d begged, badgered, and bothered until finally the doctor came in and decided that being home was probably the best for Tony. At least at home, he wouldn’t bother nurses and he might actually have something to do other than taking machines apart in the hospital basement. Turns out his best substitution is sitting upright, propped up on pillows, connected to an oxygen machine, and tapping away on his tablet. “If I put, like, Pam Cooking Spray on the walls do you stick?”

Peter is sitting on the bed with Tony, crossed legged and eating toast that Steve had brought in for Tony. He smiled for as long as it took Steve to leave and then he pushed the plate down the bed and told Peter to eat it, he felt like he was going to throw-up. He begrudgingly agreed, Tony hadn’t eaten in four days and probably longer than that. Peter was worried, beyond terrified but there was some semblance of normal life just sitting around and talking. 

He flicks a crumb off the bed, biting his lip and really thinking about his answer. He’s not sure, he’s not really ever tried. “Wanna see?” 

They spend the afternoon in Tony’s room, their laughter spreading down the hall when Peter can climb up the wall but is disgusted by the oil coating his hands and comes to rub them on Tony. The older man, choking on breathes he can’t get in or out the right way, threatens to ground Peter if he gets any closer. 

“Dad?” Peter lays on Tony, his head on Tony’s stomach. They’re calm for a moment, just laying there. Tony calms and begins to get a healthy color about his cheeks, his breathing links with Peters. The weight across his chest doesn’t seem so suffocating.

“Yeah, bud.” Tony closes his eyes and clears his throat, bringing up a rattling loose sickness in his chest. He can’t cough it up, they’d tried that in the hospital. The rasps of breath were just something he was going to have to deal with until… until he just doesn’t have to anymore. He aims to keep that information away from Peter, he hopes to keep a lot more medical things away from Peter.

Peter turns his head, looking up at Tony,” I can hear everything. Your heartbeat and the other’s, I hear them, all the time. I get these… senses. It’s just, well I’m pretty sure it’s just glorified anxiety but I like to call it my spidey-sense. Well, cause, you know, the spider…” Peter looks towards the ceiling, turning over on to his back,” I’m also faster, I could go out for soccer and actually make the team.”

Tony laughs, knocking his breathing off enough to make the pressure come back. “That’s-That’s… Christ, kid.” He rubs his chest, his smile twisting bitter, and it aches again. “Would you want to play soccer?”

Peter shakes his head, panic rising in his chest as Tony’s heart rate picks up. Something worse than his spider-sense is making his chest hurt, his breath feels like nothing is coming in or out. It’s worse than anything Peter’s ever experienced. He thinks he’s going to die, this has to be what dying feels like. 

“You’re fine,” there are arms wrapped around his chest, a hand holding his head. The voice is strong, confident and dying sucks but at least the arms and voice are warm and safe. It hurts so bad but- “Breath, Pete. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” It comes out in a rush and as the tears pour out of his eyes, he can breathe. It stops feeling like someone’s sitting on his chest and it’s just the hallow nothing of sadness. Of desperation. It’s not a fix because it doesn’t feel good. It feels awful and he wants all the noise to stop. 

Tony just holds him close, brushing curls away from his face. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” It’s been stressful, it’s always been stressful. Peter has hardly had the life he deserves. He’s a brilliant kid and Tony holds him back. Peter excels in school, he builds super suits and formulates web-shooters. Instead of sitting down with his kid, praising his great advances, getting to know him as he grows older he just gets sicker. His health declines and Peter grows steadier alone. 

“It’s good to see you out of that bed,” Steve greets Tony with a smile. “Are you hungry?” Peter had a panic attack or an anxiety attack, Tony isn’t sure which. Either way, Peter’s sleeping in Tony’s bed and as long as Peter’s sleeping peacefully, Tony’s going to let him. “Tony?”

He looks up, his hand on his chest and the other dragging the oxygen tank behind him. “I’m afraid I’d rather gouge my own eyes out than eat whatever it is that you’re burning in that skillet.” His stomach rolls with the scent of it and he’s sure that if he was healthy he’d eat the hell out of whatever it is but right now he’d sooner aspirate on his vomit. 

“It’s fish but I could make pancakes? There are fresh blueberries-”

“Stop, God stop.” Tony’s hand comes down to brace his stomach,” I need to- I can’t-” Steve catches him around the waist and keeps him from falling. It’s harsh and pulls too much on his ribs but he doesn’t fall hard on his knees. 

On the couch, his breathing, the canal, it feels like enough. It hurts but not too much. “Are you okay?” Steve is moving to tell someone else, to get help, but Tony catches his arm and stops him. 

“Don’t. Don’t, I’m okay. Don’t tell Peter, don’t tell Peter.” Tony leans back into the cushions, feeling guilty because he shouldn’t have left the hospital. He isn’t okay. Max comes running from his bedroom, pill bottle in his mouth but they won’t help. “Steve,” his eyes are clear, no drugs dilating his eyes or clouding the brightness. “Promise, you won’t tell Peter.”

Steve nods. He stutters over his agreeance,” y-yeah. I promise, Tony.” 

Tony falls back into the couch, his eyes falling shut,” fuck, Steve. My kids a superhero.”

Steve agrees without even thinking,” yeah. He’s brilliant, Tony. You raised a great kid.”

Just for now, the world safe as far as they know, that’s enough. His kid is brilliant and his kid is great. No matter what happens that won’t change. Peter’s proven that much. “Yeah, he is isn’t he?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, two people asked for things and I kinda did those things so... Also, I have no idea what to do after this so big yikes. Age Of Ultron doesn't fit in all that well, Civil War is a leap, Iron Man 3 doesn't have a lot to put in, and just a lot of stuff so ask for more stuff and I will use my English language skills to put together sentences

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of dragging this out from Peter's conception to his little dusty boi show from the forbidden movie


End file.
